LinkedIn Citizens Who Can Be Movie Titles

 

Almost Famous – The ones who humblebrag their badge of honor or newly achieved certificate every other hour spent on LinkedIn. They will always be almost famous!

 

Slumdog Millionaire – The ones who have rags to riches story to share and that has a potential for another rehash of a been there done with that Hollywood movie.

 

12 Angry Men – They are arm-chair critics who may not have a single worthy post to share but get immense pleasure in jumping to conclusions and harshly judging others' achievements or attacking naïve LinkedIn posts.

 

Vertigo – They are that rare breed whose meteoric rise on the career ladder is so heady, it can give an attack of vertigo.

 

Django Unchained – These are the swashbuckling cowboys who aggressively promote their organization and its products every day (even if it is a lame product/offer). Just short of getting the company name tattooed on their heart which rests on their sleeve.

 

Miss Congeniality – Her posts are about encouragement and motivation and stories about kindness, courage, and empathy. Their posts make you let out a deep sigh, make you teary-eyed and melt your heart.

 

The Pursuit of Happyness – These are the glass-half-full type of people who are hopeless optimists even in the face of adversity. Despite personal setbacks and challenges, they share utopian posts that can make even super-achievers doubt themselves.

 

Hidden Figures – With diversity being the darling of the season and possibly many more seasons in the future (and rightly so!), these LinkedIn users have found their niche. They won't stop posting about the hidden figures till the cows come home.

 

Jurassic Park – There are few early adopters out there who make you feel like a relic. Their posts are everything about the newest and the latest in technology space. Their posts spew cutting-edge topics and reading them makes you feel like a stunted shrub living under a rock inside Jurassic Park.

 

Avatar – These LinkedIn citizens are out there to make a difference but to their own Avatar. They want to save humanity from the clutches of climate change, pollution, overpopulation, hunger crisis, lack of education, corruption, and many global issues with their posts. Yes, just their posts. These are the armchair activists of the LinkedIn world.

 

The Return of the Living Dead

They were invisible on LinkedIn, but certain compulsions have made them go ballistic in recent times. Possibly, the merits of being active on LinkedIn have just dawned upon them.

 

The Social Network

They are the overtly obliging ones who are commenting on other’s posts “for better reach”. In a covert way, they are expecting the same return of favour.

 

Up in The Air

These citizens (or foreigners) were quite active in pre-Pandemic times, posting about their event appearances, achievements, and professional bravado gallantly struck across different countries/ continents. In recent times, this breed has vanished in thin air.

Image source: Pixabay

The lighter side of The New Work Eco-system.

1. Virtual calls with international colleagues becoming a daily norm, most have finally started understanding the concept of the Time Zone difference. Your global colleagues finally know where India is located on the global map.

2. We have understood it is not apt to wish a ‘Good Morning’ to everyone on a global call as there are colleagues in the meeting from different locations across the world. More correct would be just saying, ‘Greetings to all’. No need to ramble off with the time-consuming time-specific salutations to show you are inclusive.

3. Turning on your video for virtual meetings does not mean showing up at work anymore. If it was required last year, in 2021 it is ok to keep the video off. Your good work in the last year allows you that. If you have not worked hard enough, good luck to you. Even showing your face may not help. Your manager and colleagues can see through you anyway.

4. Logging in a few minutes early is being on time. Logging on time is not enough. And logging even a few minutes after the scheduled time is rude and discourteous. With no traffic woes, no excuse has been yet found to be good enough to report late. Maybe if you say, the previous meeting overran it could be tolerable but otherwise be ready with an apology.

5. Saying that a brand launch is in late summer/autumn is not appropriate if we have a global audience. There may be folks from the southern hemisphere who may totally miss the red-letter event. I say, just spell out the month.

6. Upskilling and taking up new courses has been the hottest trend of COVID19 that may not go out of fashion. An overwhelming majority has joined the (not fire) brigade and taken to drinking straight from the fire hose and oozing with knowledge.

7. If it’s an office call (even phone call) without prior intimation or appointment, it has now become expected to start with permission or request. Don’t be surprised to hear an unexpected warm humble request coming from someone who was known to be cold and brusque in Pre-COVID times.

8. ‘Are you still there?’, ‘Can you hear me?’, ‘Can you see my screen?’, ‘Can everyone go on mute?, ‘Can we take this offline?’, have been unanimously voted as the most used phrases in office seances, oops, office meetings. By showing up for these meetings, is how most of us have kept our spirits alive and home fires burning the whole of last year.

9. With the rise in virtual meetings, there also has been a rise in multitasking, especially in meetings where we are invited but not required. With video kept off, you can be emailing, chomping on your favorite snack, preparing for the next meeting or your meal, completing pending items, doing other phone calls (yes, even that!) and no one will still find out.

10. With the overload of virtual meetings, one can politely declare, ‘I have a hard stop’ or ‘I have to jump to another meeting’ at the start of a meeting. It helps two ways. It helps you to get an early exit from purposeless meetings which you don’t need to be part of in the first place and show you are super busy with a full schedule (even when you are not).

11. The Coffee Breaks or the Virtual Water Cooler sessions ran by HR for team building and employee well-being have now run their course. These concepts if still running anywhere can now graciously call it a day. Honestly, we just want to get off the laptop and our back-breaking chair and take a Real Break!

12. With the lines blurring between office and housework, with meetings scheduled beyond typical work hours, it is ok if our work status shows ‘Away’ (from the laptop) or ‘Be Right Back’ or even ‘Offline’ during office hours. Because - When You Gotta Go, You Gotta Go!

Pic Courtesy - thearensic.com

/the social dilemma - My quick takeaways

 

Must watch for everyone. Released on Netflix in September.

A short and comprehensive docu-drama which will open our eyes (if not already) to the ill-effects of social media.

My quick takeaways.

/the social dilemma

The “devil” is in details (notice the forward slash in the docu-drama name)

-        From being a force for good, social media has veered towards becoming a poster boy of addiction

-        From tools-based technology environment (an earnest tool for finding our long-lost family members and friends, blood donors, etc.), it has now moved into a manipulation-based technology environment (creating addiction and manipulating our behavior)

-        From Information Age to Dis-information Age (According to research, fake news travels 6 times faster than facts on Twitter)

-        The pre-teens and teens (especially girls) highly susceptible to the dark side of social media (depression and mental health issues). There is also a new phenomenon emerging called Selfie perfection or Snapchat Dysmorphia. It means that the stress of Social Media is driving teens to plastic surgery

-       Most ex-employees of organizations like Google, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest (all at senior levels) who featured in the docu-drama admitted that they do not allow their own kids to use social media

-       Most of us are leading a life of Truman Burbank (from The Truman Show, 1998 movie) without our knowledge.

-       And some of us who are aware (yours truly included) think that it is limited to data mining, which means advertisers are serving us advertisements based on our profile, interests, location, and information that we are sharing through the apps. Guess what, it is much more vicious than that.

      I may have removed all personal information from Facebook, removed all apps from my profile, and may not be as useful to the advertisers but is that enough to feel safe! 

      The dilemma persists. Should I stay or should I go! 

     And finally, the most interesting and impactful quote in the docu-drama that I would like to share here 

      "We live in a world in which a tree is worth more, financially, dead than alive, in a world in which a whale is worth more dead than alive. For so long as our economy works in that way and corporations go unregulated, they're going to continue to destroy trees, to kill whales, to mine the earth, and to continue to pull oil out of the ground, even though we know it is destroying the planet and we know that it's going to leave a worse world for future generations. This is short-term thinking based on this religion of profit at all costs, as if somehow, magically, each corporation acting in its selfish interest is going to produce the best result. This has been affecting the environment for a long time. What's frightening, and what hopefully is the last straw that will make us wake up as a civilization to how flawed this theory has been in the first place, is to see that now we're the tree, we're the whale. Our attention can be mined. We are more profitable to a corporation if we're spending time staring at a screen, staring at an ad, than if we're spending that time living our life in a rich way."

(     (Source: IMDB)

The 15 most annoying types of people on Facebook

Dear FB friends,

As per my observation, these are 15 types of annoying people one can easily find on Facebook. I am proud to belong to at least two types mentioned here. 

This post is in good humor. In case you find yourself closely resembling to any of the 15 types mentioned below, please do not feel offended and unfriend me. ;-) 

If you do, I have very well found the 16th category to add to the list.

Category 1 - Just like that | The ones who like all and sundry posts that are published, like anything! They are the relationship builder category on Facebook. I sometimes wonder if they like the post before reading it.

Category 2 - Arnabs of the FB world | The ones who are perpetually angry, spiteful, and venting frustration through their FB updates. As if the nation wants to know what ire's them. My request to them – please don't angry me!

Category 3 - Testosterone | The ones who get high by frequently taking tests using FB apps. Either they are taking tests to test their inner beauty, their inner strength, or what they were in past life. Those types really test my patience!

Category 4 - Armchair politicos | The ones whose timeline reeks only of their favorite political party, their leaders, and their shenanigans. Sorry, spare me from your politically incorrect attitude.

Category 5 – In any eventuality | They are the ones who come what may always register for all kinds of events in the city and lead a highly eventful life or so it seems.

Category 6 – Wannabe Master Chefs | The ones who are responsible for the dribble on my keyboard. Posting foodgasmic photos from their kitchen forays. I say, please post only if you wish to invite me home, enough food for thought already!

Category 7 – Travel bugs | You will find these are aplenty crawling on the FB feed. Who does not like to travel and show off their travails? And to add to it, FB memories keep popping up, and these bugs  also time travel to their distant past. Wish they stayed there forever!

Category 8 – Hobby Horses | Every second person on FB is riding his/her hobby horse. Either he/she is painting, gardening, singing, writing, YouTubing, punning, or doodling. FB can very well become the new virtual Got Talent franchise and change its tagline to - A place where you can show off but not get shooed off.

Category 9 – I, Me, My Selfie | The most obnoxious of the lot. They are obsessed with self and selfies. Perpetually uploading profile pictures in their new avatar. It is either their own self in their DP or themself with make-up. It is like - Now you see them, Now you don't! Go figure!

Category 10 – Armchair activists | Animal rights. Human rights. Civil rights. It could be any cause. Whether you want it or not, they will share their opinion. And one thing is sure, they are always right. And if you don't think so, you have to Armageddon with it! (Sorry for the pun)

Category 11 – Sneakers | Then some are on FB but pretend they are not. The most pretentious lot who take the utmost delight in reading others posts down to the last comment, counting the likes and shares of someone else's posts. But will not comment or like. They won't leave a trace as they move on to stalk the next profile. I just get a sneaky feeling about them. If you ask them about FB, they will say, what's that!

Category 12 – Saree Ga Ma | Ladies, don't we just love these types, including you in their saree (sorry) chains. These types are music to our ears. Why? Because they provide us a chance to wear a saree without us having to make a song and dance about it!  

Category 13 – Pet Pooja | These are the types that will drive you crazy by perennially posting a picture of their dog, cat, pigeon, parrot, crow…well, not the last one. Still, you get the drift, I am sure. They will worship them to death (No Pun) until it becomes your pet peeve.

Category 14 – Swashbucklers | This one is a head honcho who likes to shares his daredevilry in the corporate arena with his friends. Friends who have no clue what he does in reality but eagerly applaud his performances played out in the FB gallery. Dear Swashbuckler, may I request you to move your performance to the LinkedIn stage where it's more suitable?

Category 15 – OMG! | These types will share their family deity's photo three times a day on their timelines, and in one of them, they will also tag you, which will be (oh no!) a chain message. The message will say - Do not break this chain. You will receive good news in the next three days! For the love of God, please don't rope me into this emotional drama. In March, I had shared a message with 15 people, and I am still waiting for some good news this year. I am sure you all are too!

(Image courtesy - https://q3p9g6n2.rocketcdn.me/wp-content/ml-loads/2016/02/facebook-reactions-official2016-1920-800x450.jpg)

G.O.A.T conversation with my teenage niece on WhatsApp Chat

Me: “Hi, how are you Monu?’’

Niece: “Suh Mossy. All g!’’ (that’s what she calls her Maushi)

(There is a silence for seconds which seems like minutes.

I presume what she actually meant was, ''what’s up and all good'' but I don’t want to sound uncool so I don’t ask)

Niece: “Mossy, how are you? You there?”

Me: “Y. All g with me too” (trying to sound like her).

“How is school sweetie?”

Niece: “School is sick as usual!”

Me: (Rolling eyes emoticon) “Why sick? I thought you enjoyed going to school.”

Niece: “Sick as in cool Mossy. Not the sick as in the ill types.”

(“Duh, Mossy!”…I am sure she must have thought in her head)

Me: “Oh yeah, of course! And how is your Math class going, coping well I hope?” (Quickly moving to another topic to bury my embarrassment.)

Niece: “TBH, I was going tots cray with Math as you know….”

(Niece still typing)

Me: “Sweetie, too many typos…what was that?” (Me asking naively)

Niece: “…but RN, my Maths is on fleek. Touch wood!”

Me: “What, what, what???”

(I am too flummoxed)

Niece: “Mossy! (inserting a tired smiley face) There are no typos. I just said, ‘To be honest, I was going totally crazy with Math earlier, but right now my Math seems to be going perfect.”

(Whoa, enlightenment!)

Me: “Oh gotcha! That’s awesome.”

(Trying to sound cool and hip like her)

Me: “How about your drawing and drama classes?”

Niece: “hmm...drawing classes are kind of basic but drama is lit AF. We really have the G.O.A.T during drama classes!”

(Here we go again. I know this time these are no typos and the words do mean something for sure. I quickly google on my phone to check the meaning and bingo! I was right. No typo, these are actual words used by Gen Z.)

Niece: “Btw Mossy, I have been asking Mamma to get me a phone and she has been saying NO. Please convince her to get me one. I am 13 now and it is high time she gets a smart phone for me. Everyone has it and I just totally miss out on all the tea that my squad has to share. It really makes me feel salty.”

 (I am wondering, how is not having a mobile phone related to missing out on having tea. And why is she feeling salty about it?...A la Zeenat Aman in Pukar song ''Samundar mein naha kar''. I somehow sum up courage and ask sheepishly)

Me: “But sweetie… you don’t drink Tea, nah. In fact you don’t like it. So how can you miss it! And what is their to feel salty about it?”

Niece: “Mossy, tea is gossip. Feeling salty is feeling irritated.”

(Another Aha! moment for me)

Niece: (continuing) “My squad has their own Instagram accounts. Wait! They also have Finstagram. And look at me, I don’t even have a mobile phone.”

Me: “OMG. Now, what’s a Finstagram? Is that a new social media platform?”

Niece: “No, Mossy. It is a Fake Instagram account. You should check the photos they upload. They are so savage. And look at me! I don’t even have a phone.”

Me: (gathering my wits) “No way are you having your own phone till you complete your 10^th standard. Have you read the many articles which talk about how distracting they are for students and how it ruins…blah blah blah blah!”

(Suddenly it strikes me. A new salvo (read word)was fired and I almost missed it)

Me: “And by the way, why are they savage?? Hope the photos are not too wild, crass and violent. That’s precisely the reason your mamma is not getting you a phone like your squad, ok!”

Niece: “Mossy, you are defs iconic! (Wink emoticon) It is ''savage'' as in cool and nothing beastly about it.”

Me: “Oh ok. Anyway, let me discuss with your Mom on this new phone thing. ”

(Also, to find out how she deals with this cryptic language everyday)

Niece: “Ok. Pls do convince her. Btw, sorry, I have a French class RN and I have to go. When you are free tomorrow, HMU or I will DM you.”

(This aunt by now had made use of her fastest fingers to know what HMU and DM stood for before the niece wrote her off and logged out.)

Me: “Ok sweetie I will Direct Message you tomorrow evening on your Mumma’s phone or you can Hit Me Up. I will be waiting for you defs.”

(My last ditch attempt to be the aunt who still had the goods)

P.S: For those uninitiated like me who may still be stuck at G.O.A.T, may have realized by now that the conversation had nothing to do with the four legged animal or a mutton recipe nor about getting my goat. Although I did teeter between a peaceful and pissed state of mind for a few moments there. 

And yasss, G.O.A.T stands for Greatest of All Time!

Note: The above is fictionalized account of a conversation with my Gen Z niece.

(Pic courtsey @Adobe Blog)