Health is Wealth!

Today is the last day of the Pink month and I have something to share.

A week back I had gone for my complete annual check-up like I do every year.

Like any annual health checks you would know, it started with a 12 hour fasting (and hunger pangs). Blood tests ( ouch!). Urine sample in the smallest container (precarious, if you know what I mean). Drinking water till my stomach felt like a dam about to burst. And then all this followed by sonography, eye check, dental check, ECG, Bone density test, this test, that test and many such battery of tests spread across many floors of the clinic.

Till I ran out of my battery. Phew!

Luckily, at the end of the rigmarole, I was still breathing when I heard the magic words. “Your tests are now complete, please come back tomorrow to collect your reports.”

I let out a collective sigh! Yes, collective, as all my body organs joined me in this chorus effort.

Ok, let me not be too dramatic. It wasn’t that bad at all.

But all I wanted to do was run home and have a good shower. Away from the overbearing “antiseptic” smell which had invaded my nasal passage and by now infiltrated even the linen clothes I was wearing. Yes, you guessed it, I abhor the smell while I know some who get a high on it.

Now, coming to the point.

The main reason I had gone for the check up was to do Mammography. Having a history in family, my sister and me, have been advised to go for an annual Mammography test every year. And it had been almost two years since the last one. Not a wise thing to do, I understood.

I was confident that all my blood parameters whether blood sugar, cholesterol, triglycerides, etc. would be within normal range. But what was worrying me was the result from Mammography.

Here I was the next day, back in the hospital staring at my reports.

Guess what, as expected all my blood reports, Sonography, ECG, Bone density, etc. reports were normal. Yippee, Well done Priya!

But the one I feared most was unfortunately, not very clear in its findings. The report suggested that there were cysts and I would need to do a sono-mammography to confirm whether the cysts were benign.

Hmm! Now what?

As any body would, I imagined the worst. It appeared that my doubts were about to get confirmed and slightly reeled under that thought.

Pressed the numbers, spoke to Ashish, gave him the feedback over the phone and he reassured me that all is well. He asked me to get that test done at earliest to put my doubts to rest. Felt a wee bit better.

The next step was to get this keeda out of my mind asap.

The gynecologist during my chat with her had advised that the best machines for mammography (or any radiology related issues) were available at PD Hinduja Hospital and next year if its that particular test, I should visit Hinduja Hospital only.

Well, I didn’t anticipate that I would have to visit the hospital in the same week itself. Anyway, I called their call center, took the appointment for Sono-mammography at Hinduja Hospital and it was scheduled for Friday (which was yesterday).

Well, my friends let me share the happy news that the results are normal and the radiologist confirmed that cysts were benign. All the symptoms that I imagined I had for Breast Cancer were confounded. I was happy in the realization that one year at least I did not have to worry.

And even if it happens, I know I will trounce over it like my brave mom did eleven years ago.

What I want to share is that it is important to do annual checks, to detect any illnesses in advance so as to increase your chance of beating the shit out of it.

Eleven years ago, my mom was forced to get the annual check up done by her sister (my maushi) when she was visiting India. Yes, forced.

Like anyone, my mom thought she was perfectly healthy and fine till we got the dreadful report in hand.

A lesson we have learnt in our family for life.

Not everyone is lucky to have a sister like Jyoti maushi who urges you strongly to get that health check done.

Sad news is that we need to do it ourselves.

We have to wake up and realize that. These annual checks are not just for our sake but also for the benefit for our near and dear ones. If someone is seriously unwell in family it’s the entire family which gets sucked into the vortex of stress and trauma. We all know that, so why delay and make matters worse.

Here is why I urge all my friends to go for a health check annually or give it as a gift to your parents, spouse or sister/brother. This Diwali, instead of real gold, why not give a Gold Package for an annual checkup.

As for me, I am relieved right now.

But I am still searching on Google to find out who that brilliant person was, who coined the famous but least appreciated phrase ‘Health is Wealth’.

Here I am, signing off in the pink of health!

The Value of Mentoring – While we teach, we learn!

As serendipity would have it, one day, I stumbled on an interesting quote by Sir Napoleon Hill, “If you cannot do great things, do small things in a great way.”

Thus began my journey into the world of volunteering.

In the beginning, just like any other socially conscientious person, the first thing I aspired to do was to bring about sweeping changes. I wanted to clean up the system, I wanted to support the underprivileged kids, sensitize locals on cleanliness issues, I wanted to stop the illicit cutting of trees, create awareness for organ donation, and many such transformations, all in one go. Then I realized that these thoughts though noble, were lofty and capricious. They just remained in my head without translating into any visible action. And then I felt helpless just thinking about my inability to make any significant difference.

And then, just like that, in an instant, this quote opened my eyes to a new possibility. Instead of the ambitious unattainable changes I wanted to bring about all at the same time, I realized I needed to focus on small, yet meaningful goals, to begin with. And that became my mantra thereon. No one could have summed it up better than Sir Napoleon Hill.

I was now motivated and charged up. I actively started looking for causes close to my heart where I could lend my time, energy and skills. Among the many options that were available, there was one particular initiative that captured both, my heart and head. It tugged at my heartstrings because it was a program for mentoring underprivileged kids, and it appealed to my head because it was about dedicating time and efforts to mentoring one child at a time. It seemed not just a realistic objective but also a measurable and attainable goal. Given my work schedules, it was not going to be difficult for me to commit six hours every month, a prerequisite for that role. Also, since I work five days a week, I knew I could devote at least two hours over the weekends. It was the exact platform that I was looking to associate with, in all respects.

So I went ahead and applied. After going through a round of online application and then a detailed face to face interview, Mentor Me India (MMI) ultimately happened to me. I was now successfully enrolled into the program as a Mentor and was totally proud about it. After going through a two-day purposeful and an interactive induction program, it was time for the 40 peers and me in my class to step out and begin our new role as Mentors of MMI.

As planned, over one of the following weekend after the training, all the mentors and mentees (aged 10-12 years) were invited to assemble in the premises of a school. It was a day full of anticipation and apprehension for both the mentees and mentors, as we were to meet each other for the very first time.

We eagerly waited for the mentor-mentee names to be announced. And they finally did! Here I was, standing face to face with my mentee. My mentee, a tiny, shy girl, whose frame belied all of the ten years she was supposed to be. Samiksha. She had a faint voice that matched her slight build and a demeanor that seemed to match her name. (Samiksha means analytical)

Apparently, MMI had done a diligent exercise of matching our (mentor’s) background, skills, hobbies and flair with that of our mentees, before drawing up the list of pairs.

In our first meeting, Samiksha appeared quite anxious (exactly how I felt inside but did not show). She barely spoke up loudly even once for the one hour we spent discussing our interests, likes and dislikes. Every time she spoke, I had to ask her to repeat, for me to fathom what she was trying to say. But as the first hour drew to a close and rolled into another, the nervous girl was slowly metamorphosing into a slightly less inhibitive girl.

I credit that to the comfort level that both of us were attempting to build with each other. As a mentor though, I was playing by the rules but as a naive trusting mentee, she was just being herself; candid and sincere.

Here was the first lesson for me as a Mentor. As adults we tend to put up a facade and in a way we tend to be rehearsed but what truly wins over in relationships is spontaneity and being authentic.

By the end of our first meeting, she had not only introduced me to her family members through caricatures drawn on a sheet of paper but also had added life into them through her careless yet unique strokes. There she was beaming next to her art on full display in her little hands.

I had by fortuitous coincidence got my second mentoring lesson, that day itself. “Mentoring is a brain to pick, an ear to listen, and a push in the right direction." – John Crosby

I realized that her happiness and strength lay in drawing and coloring. And it emerged, because I had just let her be and nudged her artistic side. I did not impose on her (like in normal circumstances I would) what I would have liked her to do. I had just momentarily experienced what John Crosby truly meant through that quote, all this by sheer stroke of luck and not by design.

Today, Samiksha and me have completed three months of our mentee-mentor relationship. There have been many experiences that have left me richer as a mentor through our meetings, including those with her mother, siblings and her extended family.

Interacting with them has allowed me to look within me more deeply and realize how privileged I am to have easy access to so many opportunities that are usually taken for granted. And here is Samiksha and her family, restrained in a less privileged world due to circumstances beyond their control and yet they seem so much happier and content. That’s been another important lesson for me as a mentor. I keenly look forward to our meetings as it has allowed me to get the big picture perspective.

I can say without hesitation that in the past three months, I have learnt more through my mentor role than may be my mentee would have learnt from me. The Roman philosopher, Seneca rightly said, “While we teach, we learn”.

As I explain to her English words and translate and write them down in Marathi (her mother tongue), I get stuck many a times, trying to remember how certain Marathi letters are written; All thanks to the excessive spoon- feeding by Google in our daily life. That’s when Samiksha comes to my rescue and she writes the letters down for me. Marathi is my mother tongue too but over the years I have sadly lost touch with the pen and the written words. Thus, every session has been sprinkled with many such accidental learnings and happy discoveries.

I have also deeply understood the importance of a mentor in the lives of these children. Samiksha is now gradually speaking more openly and actively. In fact, in one of our meetings, she even voiced her desire to become a police officer when she grows up. Now, that’s a brave aspiration to have for the disposition she currently has. But as a mentor, my duty is not to be prejudiced but provide her the right direction and truthfully guide the mentee towards her aspiration.

At the impressionable age they are, I believe, they can indeed be inspired to become whoever they want to be, whether a police officer, an engineer or doctor, in spite of the circumstances that may be in store for them.

I believe that as mentors, we have the responsibility of making that happen.

Every session, I have observed that she lights up when we take to drawing, coloring or reading story books. She is also gradually learning the nuances of English language that till now were restricted to just knowing the alphabets – A to Z. Though she has been a little behind her peers as regards learning English, having moved from her village to Mumbai only recently, she has all the eagerness to catch up. She seems to be a fast learner, focused and systematic. And that is what is important, willingness to learn.

Another happy coincidence has been that many a times, her siblings and cousins who are almost of the same age, join in our meetings. It’s so fulfilling to see that our sessions are having a ripple effect on the other children within the same family. They also sit along with us, wide-eyed and full of wonder, listening to the Chota Bheem and Amar Chitra Katha stories that are being read out and also join in the coloring and drawing sessions. These seem like simple pleasures for us but they truly create an enormous excitement in these kid’s evenings. While I am teaching English, they bring out their books to study along with her and they do so in rapt attention. Watching Samiksha and the children so eager to learn makes me even more motivated and inspired to do more.

In the beginning, before taking this role, I was apprehensive of how much difference was I was going to make to my mentee’s life. But now I understand that this opportunity not only provides a wider exposure to the mentee and her life but a bigger difference is what we also (the mentors) bring in to our lives.

Lastly, to all those who want to take up mentoring or volunteering but are not sure how much of a meaningful difference can they bring; I would like to conclude with a popular story about a little girl and the Starfish.

The story goes like this.

Once upon a time, there was an old man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach every morning before he began his work. Early one morning, he was walking along the shore after a big storm had passed and found the vast beach littered with starfish as far as the eye could see, stretching in both directions.

Off in the distance, the old man noticed a small girl approaching.  As the girl walked, she paused every so often, and as she grew closer, the man could see that she was occasionally bending down to pick up an object and throw it into the sea.  The girl came closer still, and the man called out, “Good morning!  May I ask what it is that you are doing?”

The young girl paused, looked up, and replied “Throwing starfish into the ocean. The tide has washed them up onto the beach, and they can’t return to the sea by themselves,” the little girl replied. “When the sun gets high, they will die, unless I throw them back into the water.”

The old man replied, “But there must be tens of thousands of starfish on this beach. I’m afraid you won’t be able to make much of a difference.”

The girl bent down, picked up yet another starfish and threw it as far as she could into the ocean. Then she turned, smiled and said, “It made a difference to that one!”

[Adapted from The Star Thrower, by Loren Eiseley (1907 – 1977)]

To sum up my new experience as a mentor, I say, go ahead and take the first step. Start small, focus on what is achievable, practical and brings you a sense of fulfillment. Even if it means making a difference to just one person, believe me, it would mean a lot to him/her. Just like the little girl who made a difference to the starfish in the story.

Pic courtesy: www.pennyparker2.com

The Power of Volunteering

It’s little over five years since I have been working with Project Management Institute (PMI) now. The time has flown by like a breeze. It was my dream to work for a non-profit organization, and I am living that dream. I always aspired to work in an organization where my capabilities would be not just limited to a particular company but for a cause. And working with PMI has allowed me to do that. No wonder, working here does not feel like a job I have to do, but something I enjoy. Confucius rightly said, “Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.” 

One more important aspect of this stint has been my exposure to volunteerism. I am a staff of PMI, but the true backbone of our association are the volunteers of PMI. These volunteers are project practitioners who work 8 to 12 hours in their respective organizations and then contribute towards the project management profession, pro bono. This they do, after office hours and even during the weekends. Just like volunteers of any other organization, they too are extremely passionate and committed individuals. In spite of their busy personal & professional lives, they take time out to contribute and find ways to give back to PMI and the profession. Being project managers, I guess, time management comes effortlessly to them. But truly, it’s humbling and heartwarming to work with them and see their dedication and sense of purpose. Their unbridled enthusiasm is infectious and that made me plunge into volunteerism in my own small way.

Over the past five years, through my observations and interactions with volunteers, their feedback and my little recent forays in volunteering with MMI (www.mentormeindia.org), I have come to realize a few learnings, and here they are:

   1. Nothing gives more joy than giving, especially when there are absolutely no expectations attached. And I am not just preaching and using flowery words here. I say this from the new volunteering experiences I am gaining over the recent past. Each of us can find a cause/s we feel strong about. Find a community or association that’s promoting the cause (or even you can create a volunteer group on your own), and become a volunteer with the full intention of contributing to it. Believe me, whether a small or big effort, it will give immense satisfaction never felt before. And no, I am not talking about donating money or clothes (which we all do), the most important aspect of volunteering is giving our time.

   2. One can never be too busy if we want to do something. If you are on FB and reading this, believe me, you have time.

We spend so much time on social media (FB, Whatsapp, and Twitter) nowadays, and then we complain, we are too busy. (Research says an average individual spends  3 to 4 hours a week on FB). It’s about time we get a perspective of how we can use this time more productively. Even if it means giving 1-2 hours of time every week to any volunteering activity, maybe within your society, office, community, cause or a nearby school. It will make a tremendous difference to not just them but more to our well-being. I asked one of the PMI volunteers as to why he volunteered. His answer was as follows, “Besides the usual, ‘giving back to society’ and ‘making a difference’ reason, I have a selfish purpose to do so. Many a times when I face personal or professional problems, I feel incapable and frustrated, and there is negative energy flowing through me. But during these very times, when I get involved in volunteering it takes my mind away from the problems. It helps me strike a healthy balance in life. And I will tell you how? When I volunteer, all the negative feelings tend to vanish. It contributes to revive the belief that I am still capable, competent and useful and thus feel confident all over again. It provides me the positive energy which I so require at that time, which I then plough it back in my personal or professional life. Thus, creating a right balance.”. When I heard him say that, it opened my eyes to another positive aspect of volunteering.

3. Many a times we crib that we have all the problems in the world, and we tend to over-emphasize on what we don’t have. I would say that if we step away from this self-victimising mould and step into the world of those of who are less privileged, it truly helps to open our eyes to how much self-absorbed and narcissistic we are. We then realise how much lucky we are to be born to the wonderful parents we have, the resources we have access to and the comfortable houses and surroundings we live in. Volunteering helps to get the big picture perspective.

4. “Everyone has a purpose in life . . . A unique gift or special talent to give to others. And when we blend this unique talent with service to others, we experience the ecstasy and exultation of our own spirit, which is the ultimate goal of all goals.” – Deepak Chopra

I guess the above ‘Law of Dharma’ sums up why we should volunteer.

You could have fantastic creative abilities, specific knowledge, or you could have a knack for teaching, mentoring, you could be a good speaker or even write well. I say, use these talents for furthering a social cause. I can vouch that it will double up your happiness quotient and sense of fulfillment within you.

5. I would also urge all teachers, principals, and those working in schools to incorporate volunteering projects for students at all levels. That’s the age which is most impactful and impressionable. If we inculcate the value of volunteerism right then, it will stay with them for a lifetime. “Sharing is caring” is what we keep telling our kids, what better way than to put it into practice through a project or a school trip.

Among all the trips I have been to, in school, the only one I truly have fond memories of, is the Social Service Camp, our school had arranged to a place called Nere (near Mumbai). The experiences were so different and unique, I not only enjoyed the trip at that age but now, even three decades later, I fondly reminisce about it. Let me also add that I did a quick question survey on Whatsapp with my school friends and asked them about their memories of the best school trip ever. Guess what! They all mentioned the same Nere trip as their favorite one. As children, we may not have realized that we were making any social impact by doing what we did. But the outcome was the same. All of us had positive and wonderful memories around it. And what is life anyway, but a total of the varied memories and experiences that we carry with us till we die.

6. Volunteering can never be about, “What’s in it for me?” but for those who still have that question in mind (though it defeats the purpose), should read the below article. It sums up the benefits of volunteering in a crisp manner.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rita-altman-rn/the-benefits-of-volunteer_b_3377383.html?ir=India&adsSiteOverride=in

I know that many of my cousins, family members and friends are already into volunteering, and I am profoundly proud of them and their achievements.

Sincerely urging all my friends who have yet to take up volunteering, to just do that!

Lastly, I would like to end with a few famous quotes on volunteering by inspirational leaders.

In helping others, we shall help ourselves – Dr. Prakash Baba Amte

"The best way to find yourself, is to lose yourself in the service of others."
- Mahatma Gandhi

"I slept, and I dreamed that life is all joy, I woke and I saw that life is all service. I served, and I saw that service is a joy. " - Rabindranath Tagore

You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give. ~Khalil Gibran

For it is in giving, that we receive. –St. Francis of Assisi

“One person can make a difference, and everyone should try” - John F Kennedy

"If you ever need a helping hand, it is at the end of your arm. As you get older, you must remember you have a second hand. The first one is to help yourself. The second hand is to help others."
-Audrey Hepburn

"We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give" - Winston Churchill

Mind over Matter!

A few days back I had gone to see a skin specialist because of an itch. Well, it started with just an innocuous scratchy feeling on my leg; to which I didn't pay much attention to, thinking it will go away soon. However, a week passed by but the itchy sensation did not show any signs of letting up. The more I scratched, the more it seemed to be developing in to a ugly witch..oops itch.
Through out that week, every evening after work, I kept on airing my itchy woes to A. Making light of the situation made me feel a little better or so I thought. But even after a week when the itch refused to die down and instead started growing, we knew there was a glitch. We realized that it was time to ditch the 'ignorance is bliss' state and pitch my woes to a skin doc at the earliest.

Finally, there I was, sitting with the doc and providing her with my irritable 'under the skin' experience of the last one week. It was a total derma drama unfolding in her cabin, where I was just short of going down on my knees and pleading her to 'save my skin'.
She patiently heard me out, took a long look at the reddish patch on my leg and proclaimed with an air of 'thick skin', "Hmmm... well, this is nothing but a simple case of a dry-skin situation. After the age of 35, our oil glands beneath the skin start to deplete. These are the same glands which keep our skin moisturized and healthy. But when they deplete, they make our skin dry and hence the itchy feeling."

Wow, I could not believe my ears on this scin-tillating revelation. Just a case of dry skin, this was good news to my ears!

Then came another discovery. She asked me, what time of the day did I normally get the itchy feeling. I told her that every evening when I was home, back from work, invariably I would start getting the itchy sensation.
Then she revealed to me as a matter of fact, that the itch seemed to be more prominent and perceptible in the evening because my mind at that time of the day, was more relaxed and free of any preoccupations. At office, it's engaged in work matters, busy thinking, stressed, providing instructions to self and hence does not even acknowledge the itch. It is completely ignored, as if it is not there at all. As simple as that!

Within ten minutes she was scribbling down my prescription note. A medicated cream and allergy tablets to be taken for a week, that's it and I was packed off!

Back home, I was reflecting on what was just revealed to me. The itch even though it existed through the day, but felt only in the evening. This is so because the mind, during the day is preoccupied and busy. And only in the evening when it's relaxed, acknowledges the existence of the itch. And the more I thought about the itch, more I am tempted to scratch the skin and further aggravate the situation.

Then I suddenly remembered the 'Placebo effect' frequently used in the medical world. It is a remarkable phenomenon in which a placebo -- a fake treatment, an inactive substance like sugar, distilled water, or saline solution -- can sometimes improve a patient's condition simply because the person has the expectation that it will be helpful. Expectation plays a potent role in the placebo effect. The more a person believes they are going to benefit from a treatment, the more likely it is that they will experience a benefit.


I was just looking at both the scenarios. In both, the mind plays a very important role in  making us feel better; whether in my situation wherein my mind was too busy to acknowledge the itch (during the day) or the case of placebo effect, where the mind has positive expectations and believes that the offered treatment will be beneficial to self.


As I was reflecting on this not so new or eye popping discovery, my thoughts took me to yet another truth in life. And I have discussed this with my friends who have a similar experience as well. So many times have we in the past, wanted some good things to manifest in life whether for us, or family or friends. We had thought about them strongly and then never thought about it again. Until of course they actually became true!
All this happened because the thoughts then prompted us to take certain persistent actions which eventually led us to our ultimate aim or goal which we had wished for so strongly.

In a nutshell, all these were manifestations of nothing but our mind! Whether in the first case where my mind was so busy in the day that it did not acknowledge the existence of the itch or the Placebo effect when the mind chooses to believe that the medicine will cure or provide relief and it does or when our mind strongly wishes for something to happen and it truly manifests in life. In all these cases, it's our mind which is the window to our reality.

Moral of the story:
Whatever the mind can conceive, and believe, the mind can achieve!

It is no wonder that Gurus of the Corporate and Spiritual world, acknowledge GRIT as the number one factor for a person's success. Grit that which is not physical prowess, knowledge or experience oriented but derived from inner mental strength.

Someone smart said, "Gritty people believe, everything will be alright in the end, and if it is not alright, it is not the end.”

Note: Grit - Grit in psychology is a positive, non-cognitive trait based on an individual's passion for a particular long-term goal or endstate, coupled with a powerful motivation to achieve their respective objective.

A Window of Opportunity!

A couple of months back, our office had gone to Bangalore for an Outbound Training & Team building program. The time they announced this program, my mind wanted to do cartwheels and also sulk in a corner at the same time.

Well, you see, I literally jump at things that provide me insights on, "How to become a better you?", "How to tap your inner strength?", "How to find work-life balance?" type of programs. So there was a side of me who was excited and hopping like a little girl. The other side, which is the over apprehensive adult inside me, was troubled with some questions bobbing in my mind. "Do we need another training or team building program?", "If yes, why?", "Are we failing as a team?", "Did we as a team require external intervention to be better at what we do?”. I just packed these and many similar questions, in a little nook at the back of my mind, hoping that I would not have to retrieve this baggage.

I must tell you that before the visit, we were told that the trainers (organizers) were the best in the business, with many years of experience and had catered to the who's who in the corporate world. I had also read on their website a few glowing testimonials and appreciation from top notch brands.

This was all good. But the only worrying factor amongst all of us colleagues though, was the Spartan environment we were expected to stay in during the training program. Accommodation in tents with no attached bathrooms (eew!), getting up in the wee hours of morning (yawn), fixed schedule for meals, fixed slots for free time (sigh!). Also, no usage of cell phones (really!),  no Internet access (oh no!) and no non-vegetarian meals too. At this, I did hear a collection of long sighs from my carnivorous colleagues. Come to think of it, there were definitely going to be some tough days ahead of us, soon.

A boot-camp to boot!...Bring it on, I said, rather tepidly.

Finally the date arrived and we embarked on this journey full of apprehension and concerns. Concerns because we were dreading to know how the group was going to survive without our urban trappings, without our gadgets and gizmos. Most importantly, without Internet – synonymous in today’s times as the air that we breathe!

And then just like that, the much anticipated four days too went by rather hurriedly. Unexpectedly for us, we survived (like all previous inhabitants) the training and also the discomfort of being cut away from ‘civilization’. Some of us did not just scrape through but we even immersed ourselves uninhibitedly in this program. We welcomed with open embrace, the quietude and the stillness; waking up to the coos of nature, and quietly attempting to understand our true self; reflecting on our past actions and contemplating on present moments; every day of the four days.

This program which was expected to be a rigorous outing turned out to be a delightful inward journey. And all this was executed through a series of team exercises, role plays, creative activities and even a arduous hike thrown in, to a nearby hill. Many new concepts were introduced and a few old concepts were revisited. In a nutshell, the various activities we went through, assessed our mental strength, challenged our physical prowess, tested the depth of our emotional pool, and gauged the intensity of our interpersonal relationships.

Amongst all these however, there was one concept which has stayed with me even after two months. It is the ‘Johari Window’. Luft and Ingham called their Johari Window model 'Johari' after combining their first names, Joe and Harry. Some of us have either learned it in college or read about it as a piece of general knowledge. As for me, though I was exposed to it in college,  I just ‘understood’ the concept only for a brief period. After the exams, it met the same fate like all other theories, tools and concepts. Out of the window!

Now it occurs to me that this simple tool and model is even more relevant than ever before. Given the importance of 'soft' skills, empathy, and interpersonal development, it helps in improving self-awareness, communications and mutual understanding between individuals within a group. This tool can be applied to Employee-Employer relationship, between members of the same team and according to me even Husband-Wife relationship.

Johari window four regions

1. what is known by the person about him/herself and is also known by others - open area, open self, free area, free self, or 'the arena'
2. what is unknown by the person about him/herself but which others know - blind area, blind self, or 'blindspot'
3. what the person knows about him/herself that others do not know - hidden area, hidden self, avoided area, avoided self or 'facade'
4. what is unknown by the person about him/herself and is also unknown by others - unknown area or unknown self

Each of these areas were brought out by the trainer through examples which made our learning even more insightful and memorable.

The tool tries to tell us is that bigger the open area we have, we are at our most effective and productive. The open free area, or 'the arena', can be seen as the space where good communications and cooperation occur, free from distractions, mistrust, confusion, conflict and misunderstanding.

In case, the Open area is not big, we can through a process of self-discovery ( for e.g. taking actions/risks we have been avoiding to take), soliciting feedback (provided we are open to receiving it) and process of self-disclosure (for e.g. by telling others how we feel) reduce the Unknown area, Blind spot area and Hidden area respectively.

Revisiting this concept not only opened my eyes to an old concept but I was now looking at my colleagues with a new and healthy perspective. A lot of baggage that I carried for a long time was thrown away thus reducing the hidden area. A lot of objective feedback was provided to my colleagues and also received by me thus reducing the area of blind spots. And lastly, thanks to the unique activities like role-plays we had done, led to a process of self discovery for me.

In a nutshell, this is one ‘window of opportunity’ which needs to be opened wide by each and every one of us. It is not just a theory or concept but something which one can practice in everyday life. It not just helps in improving self awareness but also creating better interpersonal relationships.

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