The 7 year hitch of a Yin and Yang

Your warm, gentle squeeze of  my shoulder at the 'threshold' of our married life,

standing tentatively on the door sill as a newly wedded husband and wife.

As you reassuringly looked at me, read my mind and my inner strife,

your touch comforted my soul, quietened my nerves and questions rife.

I took my first gentle step over the threshold easing myself into a new household, people and life,

the compassionate look in your eyes provided warmth for the just married bashful wife.

A special moment that I cherish in my heart even today after all these years,

as you continue to show me the same quiet strength and fortitude for all my unwarranted fears.

Etched in the chest full of sweet memories, bejeweled and studded with ruby and pearl,

are the heartwarming moments we have shared, experienced when we let our inhibitions unfurl.


An enchanting and magical journey so far, which has seen many an ups and equal share of downs,

have drawn from your strong character and innate positive qualities, I think I have grown.

Of the many things I have learned from you which you have self-effacingly but invariably shown,

today I put down my 'pen to the paper' to enlist your seven habits I cherish as they make you, YOU and are truly your own.


Habit 1
Loving and compassionate in your subtle and not so visible and undemonstrative way

You don't need to prove your feelings and shout from rooftops as your actions speak louder than your say.

Habit 2
Non-judgmental and never hurting in every word and deed you have so far shown,

You very well know each person has his unique history, you give due credit and believe, to each his own.

Habit 3

You keep your word always like a real gentleman and a rare day would you fail

Even if you would, you let me know, and that is why your penchant for the commitment I hail.

Habit 4
Trusting completely without an iota of doubt, you forget, forgive and embrace with all my warts and faults

Life is never a smooth journey we know, but you make it worthwhile whether it speeds, slows down or halts.


Habit 5

On many an occasions, I have lost my mind and temper, maybe I was right, justified or even wrong

You have never wavered and always remained calm and composed in spite of the heated atmosphere around

Habit 6
There had been times when situations demanded a lot of mental strength, courage and rigor

You have invariably shown me through your farsightedness - the logical side, with much patience and candor

Habit 7
Last but not the least what entices me about you is your sweet innocence and helping nature with one and all

Also, your ability to make me laugh, pamper, cajole and dote on me when I need it most of all!

Happy seven-year hitch to you my yang. And wishing us many more such fulfilling years!!!

Disclaimer - Firstly, the blog post is not yet over...there's still more to come. Like there are two sides to a coin and two sides to a story....so it is in this case. So, before you get the impression that 'My Yang' is a Prince Charming plus Mark Darcy plus Indiana Jones plus Peter Parker plus Mr. Knightly and what have you, all rolled into one. Let me clarify the same.The time has still not yet arrived for the dream sequence where the couple in question rides gently into the iridescent sunset. So just relax and hang on to your romantic notions and premature deductions! ;-)

Ride they do, this Yin and Yang, but it's never a gentle, smooth ride, is it? (except in Mills & Boon and Fifty Shades of Grey, maybe). Like any journey, there are pitfalls, boulders, and mountains to circumvent. After all, a journey becomes more enriching and meaningful with experiences such as these and only through them do the individuals realize the true potential and strength of their relationship with each other.

So here I go yet again, providing another perspective to how I have seen you 'My Yang' and your seven ineffective habits in the last seven years of our journey together.

Of the many things, I have learnt from you which you have self-effacingly but invariably shown,

today I put down my 'pen to the paper' to enlist your seven habits I have not so cherished as they make you, YOU and are truly your own.

Habit 1

Wet Towel and Clothes strewn across the floor, newspapers lying around such an eye sore, my earnest pleas go but all in vain,

For the umpteenth time, I tell myself that I am not going to put all this back in place again. And there I go again!

Habit 2

I agree, time is money and precious too, in many many ways,
but one can't be punctual and time bound all days and always.

So in a party, wedding, social gathering or a friend's place.
It’s ok to be late but uff! I never can escape your restless moves and intense & piercing gaze (hinting me to move)

Habit 3

You sometimes are so lost in thoughts and much preoccupied too that you tend to ignore people you know without meaning to.

Your Yin, your parents, brother and also friends may understand you, but the rest of them apparently have no clue.

Habit 4

There are but four things that you truly enjoy that get your undivided attention, without they yearning for you.

Not in any order is football, long walks, sleeping, and reading. Oh god, what do I do?

Habit 5

The weekends are meant for fun times, to engage in something light, frivolous and footloose.

But you are picky even when it comes to watching films in movie halls unless IMDB gives a thumbs up through its critical feedback and reviews. 

Habit 6

Occasionally you watch television but once ensconced on the sinking couch you prove.

That aimlessly surfing from news to sports channels can be a headache for yours truly though an 'intense and active' sport for you.

Habit 7

Your bathroom singing is fine as long as the lyrics are correct and in tune.

But alas, you kill me softly with your inventive lyrics, even the late songwriter might turn in his tomb.

All said and done, your seven (ineffective) habits may irritate and even anger me on odd days.

But the fact that you tolerate my idiosyncrasies and, even more, insufferable habits too, I must say we complement each other in many ways!

Happy seven-year hitch to you my yang!

Yours truly,
Yin

 

Dimaag ka dahi state to a state of dimaag ki baati jala de!

Listen. Learn. Think. Ideate. Innovate. Share. And in turn make the world a better place! - Mantra of the TEDx Gateway event. After all TED is a nonprofit devoted to Ideas Worth Spreading and TEDx events are fully planned and coordinated independently, on a community-by-community basis to provide TED like experiences locally.
 
2nd December 2012 was unarguably one of the most enlightening Sundays of my life. Attending  the TEDx Gateway event held at NCPA Mumbai and listening to a great bunch of thinkers, social entrepreneurs, artists, child prodigies, inventors, tech geeks and many such interesting profiles from around the world was indeed enriching, thrilling and thought provoking all at the same time.


There were around 21 speakers from 15 countries speaking on 1 platform and sharing the most ground breaking ideas which they have now converted into fascinating real stories benefiting society at large.

Hearing all these stories ignited a tiny spark inside me....yes, there is still hope for goodness and good people in this world..

Just sitting in the audience and soaking in the stimulating speeches delivered by each of the diverse speakers confirmed my belief that to lead a 'meaningful' life means contributing to a cause selflessly...and mind you this does not mean just donations to charities or NGOs, but lending your hand in the true sense.

The immense satisfaction, passion and pride that each speaker displayed for their respective ideas/initiatives was very evident.
Listed below are 8 of the 22 speakers who left a lasting impression on me and who I thought were worth writing about.

The first speaker of the day was Vikram Patel who spoke about 'task shifting' where one creates a pool of health counselors to fill the huge gap in demand and supply of specialists/doctors, in rural areas specially. In towns and villages that have few clinics, doctors and nurses, one particular need often gets overlooked: mental health.When one cant wait for psychiatrist who are as rare as pandas in sahara to cater to the medical needs of these people, how do people get care when they need it? Vikram Patel studies how to treat conditions like depression and schizophrenia in low-resource communities, and he's come up with a powerful model: training the community to help.Vikram Patel helps bring better mental health care to low-resource communities -- by teaching ordinary people to deliver basic psychiatric services.



The next speaker was Rosemary Nalden founder of Buskaid a charitable organization which teaches classical music to young blacks in the Soweto region of South Africa. She elaborated how this music school initiative has sort of created a 'Mozart Effect' (popular hypothesis that early childhood exposure to classical music has a beneficial effect on mental development) in the region and also led to social upliftment of the black population and helped create a standard of excellence.



The following speaker was Karthik Naralasetty who is the founder of socialblood.org a social networking site which helps users in need of blood to locate other members who belong to the same blood group and are willing to donate it.The idea behind this was sowed when he witnessed a family in India struggling to find regular blood transfusions for their four-year-old daughter to treat her for a genetic blood disease called thalassemia.
Now this  social platform designed to serve a pool of emergency blood donors has spread across to 18 countries. All you have to do is become a member of the Socialblood.org on Facebook.


Before talking about the next speaker, I would like to ask if you have ever appreciated the importance of the clear potable water which flows freely from our taps. I guess when we have it in plenty we typically take things for granted and that is exactly what this speaker highlighted in her talk. In cities we really don't feel the pinch of water scarcity however, that's not the case with millions of women in villages in water deficient areas who have to walk many miles every day lugging 20 to 40 litres of water vessels on their head. Imagine if  we have to carry our 20 kg suitcase as we step out of the airport and head home. Not possible right! But these women do it every day and some times multiple times during the day. Such a waste of time, energy and also many a health issues for these women.

Here's a lady, Cynthia Koenig who through her organization WELLO created a a very simple water wheel which is hygienic, convenient and time saving tool in the hands of this women. This project has been launched in the villages of Rajasthan and now saves 35 hours per week for these women who in turn can do more productive work getting more income and little girls can now go to school. Such a simple yet fantastic initiative with a mind boggling social impact.





Take the case of Ruma Roka a young girl who started the Noida Deaf Society (NDS) in 2005. In a world where silence speaks and words flow through actions, its inhabitants draw their strength from a dream of being self reliant and independent. With this objective in mind the organization has been providing vocational training to those with hearing impairment in computers, conducts comprehensive Indian Sign language classes along with written English classes to facilitate communication. And to think about it Ruma who is not hearing impaired actually learnt sign language before she got inspired to launch this noble initiative. Today NDS has 5 centers in three states of India –Rajasthan, Haryana, Delhi and Noida and .is impacting more than 1500 deaf youth every year who are coming from across the country and has facilitated employment in for over 500 deaf in top organizations in the country. 

The next speaker who impressed me was Angad Nadkarni a young sprightly lad who at the grand old age of 18 years is a veteran at programming, and the technical brains behind Examify. Yes, Examify which helps students to crack their exams based on the past trends of the exam paper patterns at various competitive level exams. If the aim of your child is to sail through the exams without studying for it...here is the way!  ('cracker' of an idea though I may not subscribe to it)

"The first man to wear a sanitary napkin" is what he is known as. Yes, that's correct. Arunachalam Muruganantham realized that his wife can't keep wearing a ragged cloth during her menstrual cycles. Not only was it unhygienic but also cause of great discomfort and inconvenience. He decided to find a cheaper alternative to the sanitary napkin which was available but beyond the budget of most of the women in small towns and villages. After much sweat, toil and even blood (he actually experimented using animal blood) he came up with a simple and cost effective pad creation machine. It could manufacture the sanitary pad at less than 1/3rd cost of the branded ones available in market.
He has now set up these machines across villages and towns in south which has not only benefited women from health perspective but also created employment opportunities as they operate these machines too.
Freedom from hygiene issues and economic freedom too!

Mittal Patel, was the only speaker who spoke in Hindi and also had the most impact on me during the evening. She spearheads the Vicharata Samuday Samarthan Manch(VSSM) which works for the rights and welfare of Nomadic (Vicharata) & De-notified(Vimukta) communities and aims to help mainstream these communities by enabling them to fight for their rights. Currently, it is working for 40 Nomadic and De-notified tribes in 8 districts of Gujarat.

The nomadic tribes of India are spread over multiple states, primarily Maharashtra, Rajasthan and Gujarat. In Gujarat, they number around 4 million, and this is the target group that Mittal has sworn to support.

Imagine fighting the slow bureaucratic system and also rigid caste mind set both at the same time. Hats off to her efforts for finding identity to those who don't have one because neither the country recognizes them nor the village they live in. 
May be her efforts will help Nandan Nilekani as far as Aadhar goes otherwise he has a tough task cut out for him as Nomadic and De-notified tribes are not part of any list recognized by the state or country. And to think about it, there are 4 million of them in the state of Gujarat itself...imagine the mind boggling numbers of the entire country.

These were just some of the TEDx speakers who struck a chord with me and impressed me with their  dedication, passion and commitment for their life's project.Besides these there were a dozen more speakers who were equally bright, had a unique story to narrate and had converted a problem or a disadvantage to a solution or a competitive advantage. And each speaker was compelling in their own way and an interetsing idea to share.

TEDx was one of those events in my life which left me invigorated, charged and hopeful about the future.

Considering the daily dose of  sad, disappointing, frustrating, vicious, negative news which we are subjected to every morning which make our stomachs churn and make our dimaag ka dahi; this event was indeed like a breath of fresh air and urged me to turn on my dimaag ki batti.

TED- Indeed ideas worth spreading and like wild fire!

10 tips to kill time... while in Mumbai traffic

Are you amongst those 'growing' number of species who has the luxury of sitting in the backseat of the car while being driven by your driver everyday to work and back home?
If yes, then this post is just meant for you. If no, then you can still read on! May be you will join this species soon.

We all have, by now relegated to the fact that Mumbai roads can never be 'pot hole' free. We have also resigned to our fate and stopped seeing Shanghai dreams. Its time to get real,  wake up to the  smell of the passing BMC garbage truck and its trail of grey black exhaust fumes.

That's exactly what happened in my case. I finally said enough is enough!

I realized that the time I spent in the confines of my car was ever increasing and I needed to do something about it very soon. So in order to put this idle time to better use I have come up with a list of 10 'cerebral' activities listed below.
10 Tips to Kill Time....while in Mumbai Traffic

And if you think you have some more 'killing tips', be magnanimous and please do share it with your ilk. Lets all together make our 'journey' through our life in Mumbai more exciting and meaningful.

Now visualize this, it's your car...all window glasses rolled up with a/c on and your favourite radio FM station playing the latest number and you are sitting in the back seat (what you do best) waiting in the exasperating Mumbai traffic.
What do you do now? Do you want to keep feeling helpless or want some quick fixes.

I hear a frenzied yes from most of you for quick tips...so here you go my Mumbai brethren!

Follow the below 10 tips  and believe me, before you know it, you have reached your destination.

Tip No. 1
Count the number of times you wring your hands in despair as you helplessly wait for the cars to move ahead.It's not funny, but I bet my last penny that you will lose count.

Tip No. 2
Count the number of times you swear under your breath because someone has changed lanes right in front of you or someone is honking incessantly behind your already deafened ears or some one just grazed past your car without even a small apology.
You could also count the variety of cuss words used by you. It would surely add 'colour' to the whole activity.

Tip No. 3
As you are idly sitting..pick up the day's newspaper....read a column...you feel nauseous (from the reading in moving car situation and also partly because of news content)...so you stop reading.....after a while you feel better ...so again go back to reading the newspaper....feel nauseous again.... so you stop reading and the cycle continues. Count how much time you can 'hold up' at brink.
Disclaimer : This tip is not suitable for those who have Breakfast like a King and also those who are not masochists.

Tip No. 4
Make funny faces and show your finger at all those ugly men (sometimes women) peering out of the hoardings, yes you got it right...all those of useless politicians standing with folded hands in a faux namaste, with a wry smile on their paan stained lips as if saying 'Kaisa ullu banaya?'.
This tip serves as a therapeutic exercise by giving vent to our anger and frustration directed at those who deserve it.

Tip No. 5
Call up your favorite RJs Jitu Raaj or Hrishi K or Meera and Suren (as per your preference in your respective city) and let them know that they are doing a wonderful job. Then dedicate your favorite songs to your friends, colleagues and family.(all the FB friends or Linkedin colleagues if you wish)
And if you do follow this tip every day, it will surely help you to become popular in your fraternity and also the whole Mumbai city.

Tip No. 6
Count how many triple seats (families with little kids in tow) are riding on motorbikes along the way. And yes, sometimes all 3 adults too!

Even if they won't, your heart surely does a somersault watching the balancing act of these helpless mothers  riding precariously pillion on a bike with kids in tow.
This tip is not for the faint hearted.

Tip No. 7
Find a book seller in this mayhem, call him...choose a book ...pick it up...and start reading. By the time the traffic moves, you would have covered most of  it to decide whether you want to buy it or not. In most cases, they are not worth buying as the book has by now disintegrated into a mini raddi as the pages have started falling off.. So you tell him 'No' and move on.
Next time you see him, pick up another book...do this every day. Of course, till the day he allows you to! And then, you move on to the next book seller at another corner.
This tip is good for those who now don't have time to visit their neighborhood Cross words or Landmark store and read books for hours together, sitting on that little corner stool.

Tip No. 8
Look beyond the tinted glasses and you will find a bevy of entrepreneurial gigs happening around the periphery of your car. You can actually make notes of of what the 'have nots' of Mumbai do to survive in the city. From selling Gajras to Car accessories and from Magazines to Moong falis. And not to forget that each of the selling tactics are quite innovative as well.
This tip might just inspire to bring out the entrepreneurial streak inside you and also learn some theatrics which you can apply in your personal and professional life.


Tip No. 9
Bring out the voyeur in you for practicing this tip. Check what the guy or girl next (car) door is doing. While some have a nice glow on their face from the light of their BB's and IPhones reflecting back...some are soaking in the newsprint. Quite a few are digging into their pohas and upama breakfasts while the other few are busy digging for 'diamonds' absolutely unaware of their surroundings. Some are involved in intense conversations inside the car while the others are animatedly gesturing to someone else outside the car.
Its a sea of emotions which one can truly drown into.


Tip No. 10
And last but not least practice Anuloma Viloma, a yogic breathing technique (alternate nostril breathing) to refresh your mind, body and soul. And this should be done only towards the end of your journey so you can recharge yourself enough to get back to reality after this 'rocking' journey.
This tip also helps you to regain all the energy you will need to repeat all the 9 activities the next day.

So here you are, now armed with the 10 solid tips to kill time...while in Mumbai traffic. Make each travail of yours, memorable and exciting at the same time.

Disclaimer : Practice them at your own peril. 

Gift a life!

"We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give!" 

Such meaningful and beautiful words but we hardly follow them in our daily lives. And I can safely vouch on behalf of most of us, that the times when we have experienced utmost joy, thrill or satisfaction is always when we have given our time, energy or creativity to an activity or task without expecting anything in return.

Truly, 'social service' an oft repeated but seldom practiced word is something which should be made part of our life, whether in school, college, office or community level. If all of us decide to get involved in even 1 social issue which we are passionate about, it can create such an amazing positivity and sense of gratitude amongst all of us. Life would be definitely be a better place!

So in my own small way, I have decided to reach out to all my family, friends, colleagues, acquaintances and society at large and create awareness about organ donation. Organ donation, a subject which I am passionate about as it has the power to make a big difference to people's lives even when one ceases to exist.

I have, with the help of Aparna my sister and Vinay my colleague been able to create a website www.shashwat.info which attempts to provide all the information you may need to understand this topic. It will keep getting updated as days go by and hope to provide as much information you may need on this subject.
At no point does this website claim to be the authority on this subject. In fact its collated all the information from member NGOs. It's just a small attempt on our side to make this subject be heard. So even 1 friend or 1 relative decides to donate her/his organs, it would serve the purpose.

To begin with, I have pledged my organs and I always carry a organ donation slip in my wallet. In case, God forbid, if any situation arises my organs can be donated to those in need. I have also informed my parents, husband and in laws about my wish. What good are those organs anyway when you die. It will either turn to ashes or get decomposed depending on which religion you follow. But if donated have the ability to make a difference in many people's lives.

Its indeed a very sensitive subject and also it needs to be demystified as there are various myths and questions around it. Not everyone is comfortable talking about it. Its like how 'Insurance' as a subject was considered taboo many many years back. No one wants to be reminded about their (imminent) death and at the same time be told about giving away their organs.

Its indeed fascinating to know how 1 person who pledges to donate his organs can in his death, benefit at least 7-8 people who are in dire need and are either fighting for life or better living. The impact is far reaching and we have seen examples in recent past about such noble deeds.

There are two main methods for determining voluntary consent: "opt in" (only those who have given explicit consent are donors) and "opt out" (anyone who has not refused is a donor). Opt-out legislative systems dramatically increase effective rates of consent for donation. For example, Germany, which uses an opt-in system, has an organ donation consent rate of 12% among its population, while Austria, a country with a very similar culture and economic development, but which uses an opt-out system, has a consent rate of 99.98%.




In India, we follow “informed consent.” This means consent from the next of kin is essential before any organ harvesting is possible in the event of brain death or after natural death. By carrying a donor card the family discusses organ donation openly and the decision to donate becomes less difficult to make.

So if you have already decided or if you decide in future to get either your eyes, or any other organs donated, please do discuss this with your close relatives or friends and let them know your sincere wish. As they are eventually the ones who will be responsible for the organ donation to effectively take place.

Various insightful articles have appeared in the recent past. A few are listed below:

For those in South
Hindu in June 2012.
http://www.thehindu.com/opinion/open-page/article3509743.ece

For those in Maharashtra

The Times of India, August 31, 2012

http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2012-08-31/pune/33520736_1_organ-donation-cadaver-organ-zonal-transplant-coordination-centre

For those in Delhi

The Indian Express, March 10 2012
http://www.indianexpress.com/news/to-boost-organ-donation-govt-launches-online-registration/921979/



You may also get your questions answered (hopefully all) here on this website www.shashwat.info. If you still have any clarifications please do not hesitate to reach out to all the various official organizations or member hospitals which have been listed on the website in your respective city.

Thank you so much for your time!