Thrifty at Fifty | Less is More!

Image courtesy: https://ntemid.com/less-is-more/

As I gingerly step into the new “F” decade with a few niggling pains and turn to look over my stiff shoulders into my younger past, I achingly realize that being fifty does come with its own trappings.

Jokes aside, getting off the ground without using my hands may not be as easy as it was in the earlier decade, however, one good thing is that it has taught me the meaning of being grounded (pun unintended). The importance of a few real things that should truly matter in the scheme of life.

Less is More, in effect, becomes the broader theme of my life in the coming decade.

Whether it is being thankful for the ordinary things/moments in life or being realistic, whether it is understanding the worth of “real” people in my life or the power of just “being me” - there has never been so much clarity about what needs to be valued than now. As they say, with age comes wisdom (and grey hair).

Here are three learnings that thriftily summarise my “less is more” realization from the last decade.

      1. Focussing on my Core. (that is beyond gym speak)

      When it comes to relationships or the people in our lives, and how we spend time with them, I have understood one important thing – Both, depth, and consistency matter.

After going around the sun fifty times, I have understood who my true cheerleaders are. The ones who are my support system, those who believe in me and are genuinely happy for my success and growth. I may be able to count them on my fingertips but that’s completely ok. 

Given the limited time that I have left on this earth (relatively speaking), I would rather give quality time to those few loved ones and invest my time in doing things crucial for both of us (them and me).

Like someone wise said, “Love is not a noun. It is a verb.”.

It is important that I prioritize and focus on my core and show up for them consistently, and fully, through my actions. After all, this core is what makes life worth living!

Little by little, I have also begun to understand the meaning of focus and the joy of “flow”!

And that’s something this attention-deficit human will be learning to practice and improve in the coming decade.

2.   I am not just my Job Title (and LinkedIn profile!)

      Two books I read a couple of years back, shifted my perspective and introduced me to the concept of Portfolio Life. That is leading a life that goes beyond our identity printed on a business card or published on our LinkedIn profile.

      We humans tend to get too attached to our job titles. And given the current turbulent times, when that job identity is taken away, many are left distressed. It leaves a huge void in life. 

       A case in point is COVID-19 rudely awakening us to this possibility a few years ago.

      The job title is just the work we do and not who we are! They are two separate and distinct things. Outside our work identity, the quality of life we lead also matters. 

      What is the meaning of a successful professional life when one cannot be with near and dear ones when they need us the most? What is the worth of a C-suite title when one cannot invest in self-care, family time, or hobbies?

      Not to say that one should not aspire for professional success. But success at what cost is important! If your career is also your vocation, then good on you! Or if you are someone who is married to your job, then best wishes to you too!

      As someone wise said, “One who understands the difference between MORE and ENOUGH is the happiest person.”

      I have realized it is far more important to invest and build a fulfilling and meaningful life in spheres beyond our professional identity. 

      To my privileged friends (read: financially secure), well into their 40s and 50s, my humble unsolicited advice - if we know where to draw a line or appreciate how much is enough, a portfolio life is what we should aspire for.

      A portfolio life that allows us to integrate multiple interests. A life that allows us to earn money and, at the same time brings health, joy, and fun, provides learning opportunities, and also opportunities to give back to our family and society. And that’s a life I look forward to leading in the new decade.

3. Going beyond Hydrogen Peroxide and Ammonia (…and first impressions!)

In 2017, on a whim, I decided to stop coloring my hair and go grey. Many friends (mostly ladies) immediately reached out to me saying that I was being brave to reveal my greys while in my 40s when typically, most women keep coloring, well into their 70s (unlike men who find it easier to flaunt their greys as they appear).

My response was - "The decision may appear “brave” to many (women), but ironically, I am being “cautious” about my future.”

Cautious???...Yes!

For me, the equation was clear in (and off) my head.

No Hair Colouring =

More [(Money + Time) today + (Hair) in future] and

Less [(Hair loss + Carcinogens + Mental weight to look a certain age) today]

Honestly, I had reached a stage where first impressions didn’t matter anymore. Only lasting impressions did! And lasting impressions are shaped by our actions (how we show up) and not how we look.

I will also add that hair colouring is a personal decision and to each their own. I am not judging anyone as each one of us has different reasons to color or not color.

But this decision for me was by far the easiest one to make in my 40s and live by it even today! However, tomorrow, if someone comes up with a hair color that is long-lasting, non-toxic, and does not lead to hair loss, I might just consider it!

That's it! That’s me being thrifty at fifty and focussing on what really matters in the coming decade.

LinkedIn Citizens Who Can Be Movie Titles

 

Almost Famous – The ones who humblebrag their badge of honor or newly achieved certificate every other hour spent on LinkedIn. They will always be almost famous!

 

Slumdog Millionaire – The ones who have rags to riches story to share and that has a potential for another rehash of a been there done with that Hollywood movie.

 

12 Angry Men – They are arm-chair critics who may not have a single worthy post to share but get immense pleasure in jumping to conclusions and harshly judging others' achievements or attacking naïve LinkedIn posts.

 

Vertigo – They are that rare breed whose meteoric rise on the career ladder is so heady, it can give an attack of vertigo.

 

Django Unchained – These are the swashbuckling cowboys who aggressively promote their organization and its products every day (even if it is a lame product/offer). Just short of getting the company name tattooed on their heart which rests on their sleeve.

 

Miss Congeniality – Her posts are about encouragement and motivation and stories about kindness, courage, and empathy. Their posts make you let out a deep sigh, make you teary-eyed and melt your heart.

 

The Pursuit of Happyness – These are the glass-half-full type of people who are hopeless optimists even in the face of adversity. Despite personal setbacks and challenges, they share utopian posts that can make even super-achievers doubt themselves.

 

Hidden Figures – With diversity being the darling of the season and possibly many more seasons in the future (and rightly so!), these LinkedIn users have found their niche. They won't stop posting about the hidden figures till the cows come home.

 

Jurassic Park – There are few early adopters out there who make you feel like a relic. Their posts are everything about the newest and the latest in technology space. Their posts spew cutting-edge topics and reading them makes you feel like a stunted shrub living under a rock inside Jurassic Park.

 

Avatar – These LinkedIn citizens are out there to make a difference but to their own Avatar. They want to save humanity from the clutches of climate change, pollution, overpopulation, hunger crisis, lack of education, corruption, and many global issues with their posts. Yes, just their posts. These are the armchair activists of the LinkedIn world.

 

The Return of the Living Dead

They were invisible on LinkedIn, but certain compulsions have made them go ballistic in recent times. Possibly, the merits of being active on LinkedIn have just dawned upon them.

 

The Social Network

They are the overtly obliging ones who are commenting on other’s posts “for better reach”. In a covert way, they are expecting the same return of favour.

 

Up in The Air

These citizens (or foreigners) were quite active in pre-Pandemic times, posting about their event appearances, achievements, and professional bravado gallantly struck across different countries/ continents. In recent times, this breed has vanished in thin air.

Image source: Pixabay

Fluid - A Poem

The times have changed, and how!

To nature’s bounty and fury, we now sincerely bow!

The seasons as we knew then and now

Life, as we know, is more fluid today, I avow!

A thin line between work and play

Our life is how we mold the day

Nothing is black and white but all gray

Life, as we know, is more fluid today!

They say necessity is the mother of invention

In tough times a need for a new dimension

It’s time to find solutions through collaboration

Life, as we know, is more fluid today, with no exception!

When he/she/they gender pronouns matter

Nothing is what it seems on a platter

When all your earlier impressions scatter

Life, as we know, is more fluid today, and it’s no idle chatter!

How we do business today has changed

Brick and mortar to e-commerce, interchanged

A wave of digitalization unchained

Life, as we know, is more fluid today, unstrained!

School and office buildings have become redundant!

And yet the work gets done by the incumbent

Being self-reliant and yet interdependent

Life, as we know, is more fluid today, a judgment not indulgent!

Less is more, and minimalism is indeed the new maxim

What was indispensable has gone through many subtractions

While true essentials of today cost us a fraction

Life, as we know, is more fluid today, no retraction!

In the pandemic, the mask may have covered the ground

In truth, it laid bare our relationships and trust, unbound

No matter what, love and empathy stand finally crowned

Life, as we know, is more fluid today, I strongly propound!

But who knows what’s in store for us in the future?

As travelers in a time capsule, as actors, and as viewers

Adapt, adjust, hang in there, play our part, and maneuver

Life, as we know, is more fluid today and tomorrow, another adventure!

Breath - A Poem

 

You are, therefore, I am.

In this moment. At this very point in time.

You are precious. Yet, I don’t care a dime

You are now, you are here

Not in the past or future

But one thing is crystal clear

I don’t need to hear from a seer

You are, therefore, I am.

 

Moments are just grains of sand in time

Some with grime and some sublime

And so many that don’t shine

Yet here we are, just both of us

Intertwined and aligned

Facing the seconds unconfined

I traverse through life as if I don’t mind

Your presence, I undermine

But one thing I must forever remind

You are, therefore, I am.

 

Live in the moment is what we are told

The deep meaning gradually unfolds

Lifting the veil of darkness, I see the gold

The message is loud, clear, and bold

Your understated presence is extolled

When some saw the writing on the wall, I just scrolled

And now it’s too late I am told

Though I wish I was sooner enrolled

To this thought or belief that we must forever behold

You are, therefore, I am.

Breath - A Poem

A Happy Mother's Day - Dedication to all Mothers

In the current times, we have all been tested to our limits. It's almost akin to being thrown under a bus and then being asked to drive that same bus home.

If you are a working professional actively working from home, managing housework, and also taking care of family members, then more power to you. 

This was the stuff that nightmares were made off in bygone times, but today it's a harsh reality.

Battling the virtual meetings, with the phone in one hand and wielding the chapati rolling pin in the other, we have definitely armed ourselves with a Ph.D. in multitasking skills within a short period.

At the same time, we have been forced to introspect, dip into our inner reserves of energies, and find ways and means to deal with these unprecedented challenges. Each of us, in our own unique ways, is tackling the inner demons along with fighting the faceless universal evil out there.

Why am I ranting about it today when so much has been said and fumed by many already?

Well, amidst all this chaos and uncertainty, when all of us are seeking solutions or answers from experts out there, we have one superhuman living right among us. A superhuman who has all those qualities that the specialists are urging us to cultivate; that will help us to accept the new normal courageously and without any complaints. And that person deserves attention today more than ever.

Today is Mother's Day, my friends. And the superhuman is none other than our dear mom. 

Hard-working and Energetic – Have you seen your mom ever sitting down after a hard day's work and complaining. "Oh, I have had enough; now I need a break." Or "I can't take this anymore. You guys manage; I am going to lie down now".

Not my mom or mother in law for sure. Despite their frail frame, they are always on their feet from dawn to dusk, unfailingly toiling away as if they have access to the "Akshay Patra of Energy." It's incredible that at their age, they are more agile than any of us who are almost half their age. Sometimes, I wonder what secret sauce they have been cooking their food with all these years.

Self-sacrificing - No one can come close to being defined as self-sacrificing more precisely than our mothers. Whether it's their choices, their likes, or ideas, they will always put our interests first and their last. Period!

Unconditional Love and support – When everyone in professional circles is talking about the importance of collaborating, teamwork, supporting each other, and having each other's back in the current crisis, mothers literally can teach us a lot beyond all these ornate words. They are our strong pillars who not only support us, help us, provide us all comforts but also do not expect anything from us, unlike professional relationships. They will do it wholly and unconditionally and, more often than not, bend over backward even when their backs hurt.

Resourceful – In these tough times, we don't know what the future holds for us in terms of jobs, business, health, safety, and even existence. We have been forced to think creatively, find opportunities in stressful situations, and to keep a positive outlook. When I think about it, haven't our moms been doing that forever. Always ingenious, finding alternatives for scarce resources, finding a quick-fix for seemingly complex problems, and many a time even converting your potential recipe disaster into a lip-smacking dish.

Proactive and disciplined – Despite having a grueling day, the next morning, they will wake up at the appointed time, get back on their tired and old feet, and gently amble into the daily grind, keeping all excuses at bay. Ready to face a new day with the same vigor, they will foresee any potential lags and delays and, like a real professional tick all boxes in their packed daily schedule. They will stick to the required timelines and will not pause until the task is done. Also, they have an innate sense to sniff out any shortage, problem, and take timely preemptive action.

Nurturing and empathetic – Even after all this, they will always be ready to give a kind ear to all your woes and complaints unfailingly without missing each and every word you say. After all these years, they are still keen to know from you how your day has been, listen genuinely, and allow you to share your problems so that you feel lighter. How many people in our life are sincerely concerned about our well-being? Well, we can probably count them on our finger-tips.

These and many more qualities we need to imbibe from our mothers not just today but forever. I am sure my feelings above resonate with most of you. So much to learn from these superhumans whose value we take for granted. We as their children cannot thank them enough for all that they do for us, consistently and steadfastly. This is a dedication to my mom and mother-in-law, for simply being the superhumans they are, and also for showcasing their humane qualities with such humility and grace.

Happy Mother's Day – Aai and Mummy