Thursday, October 27, 2011

Feel good...

Cut to 1 week back.

Its a normal Friday morning at office. I am sitting in my swivel chair with a pen pressed between my lips and wondering deeply about what lies in front of me. Seemingly, I am evaluating the marketing plan for the next 2 months. But covertly, I am staring blankly at the flickering laptop screen, throwing up deluge of numbers and multiple worksheets which are unfathomable.

As I am scratching my head, trying to fathom the excel sheet a strange thing happens. Just like a genie would appear and create magic...poof! in a matter of few seconds my marketing budget numbers suddenly unscramble and transform into, would you believe?..'Dates on the calendar'. Not just ordinary dates but they happen to be the very very appealing dates of our forthcoming Diwali holidays in the coming week - 26th to 30th October 2011. Oh what a coincidence, I say! Or was I just seeing things which I wanted to rather see.

In just a few minutes my feeling of helplessness with the complicating budget figures (Its obvious, I am mathematically challenged!) gave away to a euphoric feeling of joie de vivre.

Absolutely nothing had changed in those last few minutes. I was still sitting in the same chair, same office, breathing the same air (sprayed with lemon freshener)but my mind had done a complete volte face. Here I was, from a typical harried working woman who was antsy and at tethers end was now eagerly looking forward to the Diwali holidays like a kid would in school waiting for his long Diwali chhutti.
After all it was indeed going to be a really long weekend. After Monday & Tuesday it was going to be 5 holidays of "WTF weekend!".
A happy warm feeling overcame my whole being!

And the festivals in India are just that, aren't they?
A source of feel good factor.
Festivals to celebrate goodness, to celebrate the return of our heroes (from mythology), their triumph over evil, worshiping our gods and expressing our gratitude.

But the real feel good factor of festivals for me is because its such a wonderful package of old memories from childhood, happy experiences from the past, gifting and receiving gifts, meeting family and friends, shopping, cleaning home and decorating, making delicacies, devouring them and last but not the least the feeling of hope and positivity all around us.

Cut to now
Its a late Sunday evening and the Diwali holidays have almost come to an end. The feel good factor has suddenly disappeared into thin air and instead, a growing ennui of the fast approaching Monday has seized me completely. After a long weekend of R & R (rest and relaxation)which I wished would never end has now given way to the new R & R (rant and rush).

And then it hit (the stupid)me hard like Arnie's powerful bazooka... Bam!

Just like a week back nothing had changed around me to make me feel suddenly happy in my office chair, so also now, there was no change in reality but just change of my thinking which had brought back the feeling of normal, dreary, boring or whatever you could call of your daily grind.
The feel good that I felt before Diwali and I have been raving about ...was may be real or may be not. It was just Maya ...an illusion!
Just as much is the growing ennui in my head right now due to the soon to dawn Monday.

Thoughts which had changed my perspective of things around.


As they say...We are what we think! So I say, might as well have happy and positive thoughts always (at least try to) as they provide us hope for future and make 'feel good factor' a permanent resident in our heads.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Who am I ?

Away from the urban landscape and in the lap of nature's beauty, 'Who am I ?' is a question I find asking myself suddenly.
Not many times have I put myself in this uneasy place nor have I had time to be there.
A road less traveled indeed!

As the morning sun shows up in the distant horizon, I am walking on a not so beaten path running into the woods and beyond, is what I can see.
A path which leaves behind the soft green grass beneath my feet and the melodious crowing of a rooster receding faintly into the greens.
A path which urges me to listen to my own inner voice and helps me answer a simple question 'Who am I?'...
A road less traveled indeed!

As I attempt to delve deep inside my thoughts for an answer, I realize that this seemingly innocuous question is not as simple as it seems.
But what I find beneath the loud thoughts in my head is that there is so much to discover and waiting to breathe.
In the daily grind of living a life, I somehow forget and fail to read.

A road less traveled indeed!

Within the boundaries created by self and leading a life or so I see, it somehow now occurs to me that there's so much more to achieve and also openly share with thee.

As I come closer to the answer of 'Who am I ?', I realize that I am someone who wants to live life to the fullest, give her best in all her deeds, make a difference to the ones she cares and bravely face life's dares and last but not the least, get over my fears and explore what's unforeseen.

A road less traveled is what I want to take indeed!