Friday, March 13, 2009

Friday the 13th

Unlike the name of the post, its not going to be about any horror stories nor is my life story turning to be one, at least right now. But, its about the fears each one of us carries in the back seat of our mind. Which when we confront its not such a nice place to be in, obviously. And since today is Friday the 13th I thought it would be an apt day to address this topic. Like today's Bombay Times cover story which talks about Preity Zinta and how she over came her fear of heights and did Bungee Jumping. Of course the article was not about overcoming fear or something which I am going to write about, it was more a subtle promotion for increasing tourism to New Zealand and self promotion for an actress who's not been in news for some time. Buts that's another story...

Anyway, coming back to where we started, at my company we had an interesting outbound session where we were made to do challenging activities which we would not do otherwise in our daily lives. Like rappelling from the 3rd floor or walking on a tight rope over a swimming pool and other activities such as these. Many who had vertigo problems and some who had hydro phobia overcame their fears to actually finishing these tasks successfully while others who had similar fears didn't.
And the joy I saw on the faces of those who had challenged their fears was nothing short of an expression which one would see on a child who has won his first race. It was a great achievement for them and gave them a great sense of accomplishment.
I for one, had this fear of driving a car which I over came by learning to drive - though I need to practice it regularly. Another fear is slightly funny and weird, when in the beauty parlor when your face is masked with the scrub and my eyes are closed I get claustrophobic. So I can never really enjoy my visits to the parlor especially when I need a facial. Or rather I have stopped having them. I used to have stage fear but which I over came by doing many presentations to a small group in college and in my organization and now i have learnt the trick. There is no better trick than be prepared about your subject completely, rehearse, deep breathing and drinking water to keep the throat from drying. Another fear I had though I love swimming and snorkeling was of white water rafting. But again, I did it not once but twice and I am hooked on to it.
One fear is of course which I am sure is quite common among all - fear of losing their near and dear ones. So I am not quite prepared to hear any news of about their ill health or something like that. I may put up a brave front if I hear it but in my hearts it will be difficult to bear it.
After writing all this I also wonder about little kids for e.g. My niece who is all of 4 years old and has such devil may care and fearless attitude that I am amazed. Its when we adults drill into their heads - 'Don't do this and that, or else the boogeyman will take you away or things like that.' - when they are introduced to fear when none exists.

Of course a little fear is needed to help us take cautious decisions without being foolhardy and foolishly brave. But fear needs to be limited since it obstructs us from going the whole hog and we miss many a opportunity in life. Fear is when we face it that we can actually overcome it which I realized in that Outbound session- Tapovan.
So lets abandon our fears and celebrate life with gay abandon. After all, one cant life to the fullest if we have these self created boogeyman lurking in the shadows.
Some interesting proverbs on why FEAR should be treated like plague.

Marie Curie - Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.

Eleanor Roosevelt, You Learn By Living. 1960 - You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself. "I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along."

Eric Hoffer - You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you.

Bertrand Russell - To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead.

Michael Pritchard - Fear is that little darkroom where negatives are developed.

Anon -You don't face your fears, you stand up to them.

Ambrose Redmoon - Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear.

Franklin D. Roosevelt, First inaugural address - The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.

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