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| Image courtesy: https://ntemid.com/less-is-more/ |
As I gingerly step into the new “F” decade with a few niggling pains and turn to look over my stiff shoulders into my younger past, I achingly realize that being fifty does come with its own trappings.
Jokes aside, getting off the ground without using my hands may not be as easy as it was in the earlier decade, however, one good thing is that it has taught me the meaning of being grounded (pun unintended). The importance of a few real things that should truly matter in the scheme of life.
Less is More, in effect, becomes the broader theme of my life in the coming decade.
Whether it
is being thankful for the ordinary things/moments in life or being realistic,
whether it is understanding the worth of “real” people in my life or the power
of just “being me” - there has never been so much clarity about what needs to be valued than now. As they say,
with age comes wisdom (and grey hair).
Here are
three learnings that thriftily summarise my “less is more” realization from the
last decade.
1. Focussing on my Core. (that is beyond gym speak)
When it comes to relationships or the people in our lives, and how we spend time with them, I have understood one important thing – Both, depth, and consistency matter.
After going around the sun fifty times, I have understood who my true
cheerleaders are. The ones who are my support system, those who believe in
me and are genuinely happy for my success and growth. I may be able to count
them on my fingertips but that’s completely ok.
Given the limited time that I have left on this earth (relatively
speaking), I would rather give quality time to those few loved ones and invest
my time in doing things crucial for both of us (them and me).
Like someone wise said, “Love is not a noun. It is a verb.”.
It is important that I prioritize and focus on my core and show up for
them consistently, and fully, through my actions. After all, this core is what
makes life worth living!
Little by little, I have also begun to understand the meaning of focus
and the joy of “flow”!
And that’s something this attention-deficit human will be learning to
practice and improve in the coming decade.
2. I am not just my Job Title (and LinkedIn profile!)
Two books I read a couple of years back, shifted my perspective and introduced me to the concept of Portfolio Life. That is leading a life that goes beyond our identity printed on a business card or published on our LinkedIn profile.
We humans tend to get too attached to our job titles. And given the current turbulent times, when that job identity is taken away, many are left distressed. It leaves a huge void in life.
A case in point is COVID-19 rudely awakening us to this possibility a few years ago.
The job title is just the work we do and not who we are! They are two separate and distinct things. Outside our work identity, the quality of life we lead also matters.
What is the meaning of a successful professional life when one cannot be with near and dear ones when they need us the most? What is the worth of a C-suite title when one cannot invest in self-care, family time, or hobbies?
Not to say that one should not aspire for professional success. But success at what cost is important! If your career is also your vocation, then good on you! Or if you are someone who is married to your job, then best wishes to you too!
As someone wise said, “One who understands the difference between MORE and ENOUGH is the happiest person.”
I have realized it is far more important to invest and build a fulfilling and meaningful life in spheres beyond our professional identity.
To my privileged friends (read: financially secure), well into their 40s and 50s, my humble unsolicited advice - if we know where to draw a line or appreciate how much is enough, a portfolio life is what we should aspire for.
A portfolio life that allows us to integrate multiple interests. A life that allows us to earn money and, at the same time brings health, joy, and fun, provides learning opportunities, and also opportunities to give back to our family and society. And that’s a life I look forward to leading in the new decade.
3. Going beyond Hydrogen Peroxide and Ammonia (…and first impressions!)
In 2017, on a whim, I decided to stop coloring my hair and go grey. Many friends (mostly ladies) immediately reached out to me saying that I was being brave to reveal my greys while in my 40s when typically, most women keep coloring, well into their 70s (unlike men who find it easier to flaunt their greys as they appear).
My response was - "The decision may appear “brave” to many (women), but ironically, I am being “cautious” about my future.”
Cautious???...Yes!
For me, the equation was clear in (and off) my head.
No Hair Colouring =
More [(Money + Time) today + (Hair) in future] and
Less [(Hair loss + Carcinogens + Mental weight to look a certain age) today]
Honestly, I had reached a stage where first impressions didn’t matter anymore. Only lasting impressions did! And lasting impressions are shaped by our actions (how we show up) and not how we look.
I will also add that hair colouring is a personal decision and to each their own. I am not judging anyone as each one of us has different reasons to color or not color.
But this decision for me was by far the easiest one to make in my 40s and live by it even today! However, tomorrow, if someone comes up with a hair color that is long-lasting, non-toxic, and does not lead to hair loss, I might just consider it!
That's it!
That’s me being thrifty at fifty and focussing on what really matters in the
coming decade.
