Lessons relearned!

My association with Mentor Me India (MMI) is now two years old.

I stumbled upon one of their heartfelt Facebook advertisements. And this is how the journey began in early 2015. 

MMI was looking for volunteers to join their mentoring program for kids belonging to low-income communities. I applied for the post online, got interviewed, got shortlisted as a mentor, got trained and inducted, and eventually got introduced to my Mentee in July 2015. And from that introductory meeting till today, the last two years have flown by rather quickly. And what a fascinating journey it has been!

As I close my eyes and rewind to the date almost two years back when I was introduced to Samiksha, I see a tiny ten-year-old girl with a slight build and a faint voice. A girl who can barely speak up and someone who is shy talking about herself, her family and her hobbies.

And today, when I meet her, I cannot believe that it is the same Samiksha who I had to constantly urge to communicate and encourage to speak louder. Someone who could only give a nervous smile and a faint giggle when asked to express in front of the camera.

From the days of being an anxious and apprehensive Samiksha in our first few meetings to today’s Samiksha who does not hesitate to reach out and call me to fix our next meeting date. From being someone who would be reluctant to recite essays and poems in front of the camera to someone who just gave a delightful dance performance at the recently organized Annual Day of Mentor Me India. There has been a small, albeit visible transformation in her life.

Somewhere through this journey, life had changed. And I will say, not for one but two individuals!

Yes, somewhere during this passage of time as a mentor of a ten-year-old kid, life has altered for me as well.

For Samiksha, there has been a change in her speech, her attitude and her demeanor. She has now become someone who does not hesitate to voice her opinions and express herself. Maybe there was already a spunky and more confident self in her just waiting to be discovered and revealed.

If for her, it has been more a personality makeover; as her mentor however, this journey for me has been of a different kind. More of an inside-out realization.

So here are the top three lessons I had forgotten somewhere down the road that I relearned on this journey and which I am now sharing with you.

Lesson 1: Focus, listen and be real! 

As adults, we are so rehearsed during our personal interactions whether personal or formal. Also, because of our know-it-all attitude, we hardly tend to listen to what the other person is saying. We eagerly wait for him/her to stop talking so we can start sharing our views and opinions. 

As adults, what matters to us is, how can I look good in this conversation? How can I display my intelligence, experience, wit, smartness, wealth, ....? and the list is endless. But what we forget is, just by active listening we tend to learn so much more than what we would already know. We also forget that to have meaningful dialogues or conversations it’s important to be authentic and spontaneous. 
Children, on the other hand are such eager listeners, they have a genuine thirst to understand and learn, have a curiosity to know the unknown and also are comfortable to express their vulnerability and ignorance. 

This was one of my first lesson as a mentor. 

Always yearn to learn more; first understand to be understood, and be completely involved in genuine and heartfelt interactions.

Lesson 2: Gratitude

As a mentor, many times, I had to visit my mentee’s modest home situated in a slum area. These visits, however, also compelled me to revisit the many comforts in my daily life. Whether it was the clean environment where we stay, regular water supply in the taps, a spacious house, or easy access to anything that I would like to own or use; all amenities, facilities or unique experiences are just a click or a call away. Although we are aware of our special privileges, we somehow tend to forget this fact quickly and focus on issues which are comparatively molecular in the scheme of things. Safely ensconced in our air-conditioned environment protected from the dust and grime of the harsh reality on ground we take our luxuries for granted.

And here was Samiksha and her family, restrained in a less privileged world due to circumstances beyond their control. Yet they seemed much happier and content.

So here was the second lesson for me. 

While we get so involved in the nitty-gritties of the daily soap of our life, we forget to look at it in 70 mm format. These home visits, in a subliminal way changed my perspective and helped me to get a big picture outlook on life. A lesson urging me to be content and satisfied with what life had offered me so offer and be thankful for the many opportunities which many can only dream.

Lesson 3: Living in the moment!

During most of my visits to her home, her siblings and neighbor’s kids who are almost of the same age joined in our sessions. It was fulfilling to see that our meetings had a ripple effect on the other children around Samiksha. They sat along with us, wide-eyed and full of wonder; listened to the Chota Bheem and Amar Chitra Katha stories that were read out; joined in the coloring/drawing and craft sessions; some times playing games like Heads Up or Name Place Animal Thing and many such games. All these may seem like regular stuff for us but these moments indeed created an enormous excitement and bonhomie in their lives.

Watching Samiksha and others so immersed in life’s simple pleasures made me realize the importance of living in the moment. Being present is undoubtedly the only way to enjoy life to the fullest even if we may think that activity as dull or uninteresting. It could be something as normal as cooking, spring cleaning, running errands, driving or any other activity which we label as a drudgery, it is important that we get immersed in that moment and make it interesting. But how we do it is up to us!

With these three and many more such life lessons in my armory, this journey of last two years has been truly rewarding. Hope this fulfilling journey continues to enrich me and help me grow as a human being. 

Finally, there cannot be a better way to conclude than with this simple yet profound Buddhist proverb, ''If you light a lamp for someone it will also brighten your own path.'' 

So true!