Saturday, August 08, 2020

The 15 most annoying types of people on Facebook

Dear FB friends,

As per my observation, these are 15 types of annoying people one can easily find on Facebook. I am proud to belong to at least two types mentioned here. 

This post is in good humor. In case you find yourself closely resembling to any of the 15 types mentioned below, please do not feel offended and unfriend me. ;-) 

If you do, I have very well found the 16th category to add to the list.

Category 1 - Just like that | The ones who like all and sundry posts that are published, like anything! They are the relationship builder category on Facebook. I sometimes wonder if they like the post before reading it.

Category 2 - Arnabs of the FB world | The ones who are perpetually angry, spiteful, and venting frustration through their FB updates. As if the nation wants to know what ire's them. My request to them – please don't angry me!

Category 3 - Testosterone | The ones who get high by frequently taking tests using FB apps. Either they are taking tests to test their inner beauty, their inner strength, or what they were in past life. Those types really test my patience!

Category 4 - Armchair politicos | The ones whose timeline reeks only of their favorite political party, their leaders, and their shenanigans. Sorry, spare me from your politically incorrect attitude.

Category 5 – In any eventuality | They are the ones who come what may always register for all kinds of events in the city and lead a highly eventful life or so it seems.

Category 6 – Wannabe Master Chefs | The ones who are responsible for the dribble on my keyboard. Posting foodgasmic photos from their kitchen forays. I say, please post only if you wish to invite me home, enough food for thought already!

Category 7 – Travel bugs | You will find these are aplenty crawling on the FB feed. Who does not like to travel and show off their travails? And to add to it, FB memories keep popping up, and these bugs  also time travel to their distant past. Wish they stayed there forever!

Category 8 – Hobby Horses | Every second person on FB is riding his/her hobby horse. Either he/she is painting, gardening, singing, writing, YouTubing, punning, or doodling. FB can very well become the new virtual Got Talent franchise and change its tagline to - A place where you can show off but not get shooed off.

Category 9 – I, Me, My Selfie | The most obnoxious of the lot. They are obsessed with self and selfies. Perpetually uploading profile pictures in their new avatar. It is either their own self in their DP or themself with make-up. It is like - Now you see them, Now you don't! Go figure!

Category 10 – Armchair activists | Animal rights. Human rights. Civil rights. It could be any cause. Whether you want it or not, they will share their opinion. And one thing is sure, they are always right. And if you don't think so, you have to Armageddon with it! (Sorry for the pun)

Category 11 – Sneakers | Then some are on FB but pretend they are not. The most pretentious lot who take the utmost delight in reading others posts down to the last comment, counting the likes and shares of someone else's posts. But will not comment or like. They won't leave a trace as they move on to stalk the next profile. I just get a sneaky feeling about them. If you ask them about FB, they will say, what's that!

Category 12 – Saree Ga Ma | Ladies, don't we just love these types, including you in their saree (sorry) chains. These types are music to our ears. Why? Because they provide us a chance to wear a saree without us having to make a song and dance about it!  

Category 13 – Pet Pooja | These are the types that will drive you crazy by perennially posting a picture of their dog, cat, pigeon, parrot, crow…well, not the last one. Still, you get the drift, I am sure. They will worship them to death (No Pun) until it becomes your pet peeve.

Category 14 – Swashbucklers | This one is a head honcho who likes to shares his daredevilry in the corporate arena with his friends. Friends who have no clue what he does in reality but eagerly applaud his performances played out in the FB gallery. Dear Swashbuckler, may I request you to move your performance to the LinkedIn stage where it's more suitable?

Category 15 – OMG! | These types will share their family deity's photo three times a day on their timelines, and in one of them, they will also tag you, which will be (oh no!) a chain message. The message will say - Do not break this chain. You will receive good news in the next three days! For the love of God, please don't rope me into this emotional drama. In March, I had shared a message with 15 people, and I am still waiting for some good news this year. I am sure you all are too!


(Image courtesy - https://q3p9g6n2.rocketcdn.me/wp-content/ml-loads/2016/02/facebook-reactions-official2016-1920-800x450.jpg)

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