Mind over Matter!

A few days back I had gone to see a skin specialist because of an itch. Well, it started with just an innocuous scratchy feeling on my leg; to which I didn't pay much attention to, thinking it will go away soon. However, a week passed by but the itchy sensation did not show any signs of letting up. The more I scratched, the more it seemed to be developing in to a ugly witch..oops itch.
Through out that week, every evening after work, I kept on airing my itchy woes to A. Making light of the situation made me feel a little better or so I thought. But even after a week when the itch refused to die down and instead started growing, we knew there was a glitch. We realized that it was time to ditch the 'ignorance is bliss' state and pitch my woes to a skin doc at the earliest.

Finally, there I was, sitting with the doc and providing her with my irritable 'under the skin' experience of the last one week. It was a total derma drama unfolding in her cabin, where I was just short of going down on my knees and pleading her to 'save my skin'.
She patiently heard me out, took a long look at the reddish patch on my leg and proclaimed with an air of 'thick skin', "Hmmm... well, this is nothing but a simple case of a dry-skin situation. After the age of 35, our oil glands beneath the skin start to deplete. These are the same glands which keep our skin moisturized and healthy. But when they deplete, they make our skin dry and hence the itchy feeling."

Wow, I could not believe my ears on this scin-tillating revelation. Just a case of dry skin, this was good news to my ears!

Then came another discovery. She asked me, what time of the day did I normally get the itchy feeling. I told her that every evening when I was home, back from work, invariably I would start getting the itchy sensation.
Then she revealed to me as a matter of fact, that the itch seemed to be more prominent and perceptible in the evening because my mind at that time of the day, was more relaxed and free of any preoccupations. At office, it's engaged in work matters, busy thinking, stressed, providing instructions to self and hence does not even acknowledge the itch. It is completely ignored, as if it is not there at all. As simple as that!

Within ten minutes she was scribbling down my prescription note. A medicated cream and allergy tablets to be taken for a week, that's it and I was packed off!

Back home, I was reflecting on what was just revealed to me. The itch even though it existed through the day, but felt only in the evening. This is so because the mind, during the day is preoccupied and busy. And only in the evening when it's relaxed, acknowledges the existence of the itch. And the more I thought about the itch, more I am tempted to scratch the skin and further aggravate the situation.

Then I suddenly remembered the 'Placebo effect' frequently used in the medical world. It is a remarkable phenomenon in which a placebo -- a fake treatment, an inactive substance like sugar, distilled water, or saline solution -- can sometimes improve a patient's condition simply because the person has the expectation that it will be helpful. Expectation plays a potent role in the placebo effect. The more a person believes they are going to benefit from a treatment, the more likely it is that they will experience a benefit.


I was just looking at both the scenarios. In both, the mind plays a very important role in  making us feel better; whether in my situation wherein my mind was too busy to acknowledge the itch (during the day) or the case of placebo effect, where the mind has positive expectations and believes that the offered treatment will be beneficial to self.


As I was reflecting on this not so new or eye popping discovery, my thoughts took me to yet another truth in life. And I have discussed this with my friends who have a similar experience as well. So many times have we in the past, wanted some good things to manifest in life whether for us, or family or friends. We had thought about them strongly and then never thought about it again. Until of course they actually became true!
All this happened because the thoughts then prompted us to take certain persistent actions which eventually led us to our ultimate aim or goal which we had wished for so strongly.

In a nutshell, all these were manifestations of nothing but our mind! Whether in the first case where my mind was so busy in the day that it did not acknowledge the existence of the itch or the Placebo effect when the mind chooses to believe that the medicine will cure or provide relief and it does or when our mind strongly wishes for something to happen and it truly manifests in life. In all these cases, it's our mind which is the window to our reality.

Moral of the story:
Whatever the mind can conceive, and believe, the mind can achieve!

It is no wonder that Gurus of the Corporate and Spiritual world, acknowledge GRIT as the number one factor for a person's success. Grit that which is not physical prowess, knowledge or experience oriented but derived from inner mental strength.

Someone smart said, "Gritty people believe, everything will be alright in the end, and if it is not alright, it is not the end.”

Note: Grit - Grit in psychology is a positive, non-cognitive trait based on an individual's passion for a particular long-term goal or endstate, coupled with a powerful motivation to achieve their respective objective.

A Window of Opportunity!

A couple of months back, our office had gone to Bangalore for an Outbound Training & Team building program. The time they announced this program, my mind wanted to do cartwheels and also sulk in a corner at the same time.

Well, you see, I literally jump at things that provide me insights on, "How to become a better you?", "How to tap your inner strength?", "How to find work-life balance?" type of programs. So there was a side of me who was excited and hopping like a little girl. The other side, which is the over apprehensive adult inside me, was troubled with some questions bobbing in my mind. "Do we need another training or team building program?", "If yes, why?", "Are we failing as a team?", "Did we as a team require external intervention to be better at what we do?”. I just packed these and many similar questions, in a little nook at the back of my mind, hoping that I would not have to retrieve this baggage.

I must tell you that before the visit, we were told that the trainers (organizers) were the best in the business, with many years of experience and had catered to the who's who in the corporate world. I had also read on their website a few glowing testimonials and appreciation from top notch brands.

This was all good. But the only worrying factor amongst all of us colleagues though, was the Spartan environment we were expected to stay in during the training program. Accommodation in tents with no attached bathrooms (eew!), getting up in the wee hours of morning (yawn), fixed schedule for meals, fixed slots for free time (sigh!). Also, no usage of cell phones (really!),  no Internet access (oh no!) and no non-vegetarian meals too. At this, I did hear a collection of long sighs from my carnivorous colleagues. Come to think of it, there were definitely going to be some tough days ahead of us, soon.

A boot-camp to boot!...Bring it on, I said, rather tepidly.

Finally the date arrived and we embarked on this journey full of apprehension and concerns. Concerns because we were dreading to know how the group was going to survive without our urban trappings, without our gadgets and gizmos. Most importantly, without Internet – synonymous in today’s times as the air that we breathe!

And then just like that, the much anticipated four days too went by rather hurriedly. Unexpectedly for us, we survived (like all previous inhabitants) the training and also the discomfort of being cut away from ‘civilization’. Some of us did not just scrape through but we even immersed ourselves uninhibitedly in this program. We welcomed with open embrace, the quietude and the stillness; waking up to the coos of nature, and quietly attempting to understand our true self; reflecting on our past actions and contemplating on present moments; every day of the four days.

This program which was expected to be a rigorous outing turned out to be a delightful inward journey. And all this was executed through a series of team exercises, role plays, creative activities and even a arduous hike thrown in, to a nearby hill. Many new concepts were introduced and a few old concepts were revisited. In a nutshell, the various activities we went through, assessed our mental strength, challenged our physical prowess, tested the depth of our emotional pool, and gauged the intensity of our interpersonal relationships.

Amongst all these however, there was one concept which has stayed with me even after two months. It is the ‘Johari Window’. Luft and Ingham called their Johari Window model 'Johari' after combining their first names, Joe and Harry. Some of us have either learned it in college or read about it as a piece of general knowledge. As for me, though I was exposed to it in college,  I just ‘understood’ the concept only for a brief period. After the exams, it met the same fate like all other theories, tools and concepts. Out of the window!

Now it occurs to me that this simple tool and model is even more relevant than ever before. Given the importance of 'soft' skills, empathy, and interpersonal development, it helps in improving self-awareness, communications and mutual understanding between individuals within a group. This tool can be applied to Employee-Employer relationship, between members of the same team and according to me even Husband-Wife relationship.

Johari window four regions

1. what is known by the person about him/herself and is also known by others - open area, open self, free area, free self, or 'the arena'
2. what is unknown by the person about him/herself but which others know - blind area, blind self, or 'blindspot'
3. what the person knows about him/herself that others do not know - hidden area, hidden self, avoided area, avoided self or 'facade'
4. what is unknown by the person about him/herself and is also unknown by others - unknown area or unknown self

Each of these areas were brought out by the trainer through examples which made our learning even more insightful and memorable.

The tool tries to tell us is that bigger the open area we have, we are at our most effective and productive. The open free area, or 'the arena', can be seen as the space where good communications and cooperation occur, free from distractions, mistrust, confusion, conflict and misunderstanding.

In case, the Open area is not big, we can through a process of self-discovery ( for e.g. taking actions/risks we have been avoiding to take), soliciting feedback (provided we are open to receiving it) and process of self-disclosure (for e.g. by telling others how we feel) reduce the Unknown area, Blind spot area and Hidden area respectively.

Revisiting this concept not only opened my eyes to an old concept but I was now looking at my colleagues with a new and healthy perspective. A lot of baggage that I carried for a long time was thrown away thus reducing the hidden area. A lot of objective feedback was provided to my colleagues and also received by me thus reducing the area of blind spots. And lastly, thanks to the unique activities like role-plays we had done, led to a process of self discovery for me.

In a nutshell, this is one ‘window of opportunity’ which needs to be opened wide by each and every one of us. It is not just a theory or concept but something which one can practice in everyday life. It not just helps in improving self awareness but also creating better interpersonal relationships.

For more details on Johari Window, do click here http://www.businessballs.com/johariwindowmodel.htm