Feel good...

Cut to 1 week back.

Its a normal Friday morning at office. I am sitting in my swivel chair with a pen pressed between my lips and wondering deeply about what lies in front of me. Seemingly, I am evaluating the marketing plan for the next 2 months. But covertly, I am staring blankly at the flickering laptop screen, throwing up deluge of numbers and multiple worksheets which are unfathomable.

As I am scratching my head, trying to fathom the excel sheet a strange thing happens. Just like a genie would appear and create magic...poof! in a matter of few seconds my marketing budget numbers suddenly unscramble and transform into, would you believe?..'Dates on the calendar'. Not just ordinary dates but they happen to be the very very appealing dates of our forthcoming Diwali holidays in the coming week - 26th to 30th October 2011. Oh what a coincidence, I say! Or was I just seeing things which I wanted to rather see.

In just a few minutes my feeling of helplessness with the complicating budget figures (Its obvious, I am mathematically challenged!) gave away to a euphoric feeling of joie de vivre.

Absolutely nothing had changed in those last few minutes. I was still sitting in the same chair, same office, breathing the same air (sprayed with lemon freshener)but my mind had done a complete volte face. Here I was, from a typical harried working woman who was antsy and at tethers end was now eagerly looking forward to the Diwali holidays like a kid would in school waiting for his long Diwali chhutti.
After all it was indeed going to be a really long weekend. After Monday & Tuesday it was going to be 5 holidays of "WTF weekend!".
A happy warm feeling overcame my whole being!

And the festivals in India are just that, aren't they?
A source of feel good factor.
Festivals to celebrate goodness, to celebrate the return of our heroes (from mythology), their triumph over evil, worshiping our gods and expressing our gratitude.

But the real feel good factor of festivals for me is because its such a wonderful package of old memories from childhood, happy experiences from the past, gifting and receiving gifts, meeting family and friends, shopping, cleaning home and decorating, making delicacies, devouring them and last but not the least the feeling of hope and positivity all around us.

Cut to now
Its a late Sunday evening and the Diwali holidays have almost come to an end. The feel good factor has suddenly disappeared into thin air and instead, a growing ennui of the fast approaching Monday has seized me completely. After a long weekend of R & R (rest and relaxation)which I wished would never end has now given way to the new R & R (rant and rush).

And then it hit (the stupid)me hard like Arnie's powerful bazooka... Bam!

Just like a week back nothing had changed around me to make me feel suddenly happy in my office chair, so also now, there was no change in reality but just change of my thinking which had brought back the feeling of normal, dreary, boring or whatever you could call of your daily grind.
The feel good that I felt before Diwali and I have been raving about ...was may be real or may be not. It was just Maya ...an illusion!
Just as much is the growing ennui in my head right now due to the soon to dawn Monday.

Thoughts which had changed my perspective of things around.


As they say...We are what we think! So I say, might as well have happy and positive thoughts always (at least try to) as they provide us hope for future and make 'feel good factor' a permanent resident in our heads.

Who am I ?

Away from the urban landscape and in the lap of nature's beauty, 'Who am I ?' is a question I find asking myself suddenly.
Not many times have I put myself in this uneasy place nor have I had time to be there.
A road less traveled indeed!

As the morning sun shows up in the distant horizon, I am walking on a not so beaten path running into the woods and beyond, is what I can see.
A path which leaves behind the soft green grass beneath my feet and the melodious crowing of a rooster receding faintly into the greens.
A path which urges me to listen to my own inner voice and helps me answer a simple question 'Who am I?'...
A road less traveled indeed!

As I attempt to delve deep inside my thoughts for an answer, I realize that this seemingly innocuous question is not as simple as it seems.
But what I find beneath the loud thoughts in my head is that there is so much to discover and waiting to breathe.
In the daily grind of living a life, I somehow forget and fail to read.

A road less traveled indeed!

Within the boundaries created by self and leading a life or so I see, it somehow now occurs to me that there's so much more to achieve and also openly share with thee.

As I come closer to the answer of 'Who am I ?', I realize that I am someone who wants to live life to the fullest, give her best in all her deeds, make a difference to the ones she cares and bravely face life's dares and last but not the least, get over my fears and explore what's unforeseen.

A road less traveled is what I want to take indeed!

Grey Anatomy of an Indian - Part II

Welcome to Part II of 'Grey Anatomy of an Indian'.

To begin where we left off in Part I, let me now introduce you to the other 5 reasons why we Indians are innately grey.

6. Indian Food

When we are talking about the anatomy, can food be left far behind? No, never and more so if its Indian food, we just cant. We are what we eat, they say... so blame it on the food for our grey anatomy, dearies!

You can go all around the world but nothing compares to Indian food. I say this not because I am an Indian but because you can seriously never have enough of it. So much of variety, flavors, aroma, taste, nutrition, creativity and not to forget so deeply steeped in rich tradition.
But what tickles my taste buds literally and figuratively are the cross variations Indian food has on its platter these days to offer to any kind of foodie.

So let me share with you 10 examples of Indian gastronomic delights which will not only leave you hungry and smacking your lips but also confirm the 'grey anatomy' logic.

1. Chinese Bhel puri (I can bet the last puri on my plate that our Chinese brethren wont be able to copy this one for sure)
2. Jain Pav Bhaaji (can you imagine, a Pav bhaaji without the quintessential kaanda/pyaaz...never!)
3. Chinese Dosa ( uh oh..I am imagining a chinese in a half lungi,now)
4. Mc Aloo Tikki (Looks like an American Born Confused Desi)
5. Jain Pizza - (Hmmm... its Mr.Jain posing against Leaning Tower of Pizza..oops Pisa)
6. Jain Chicken (Holy Cow!, you say. I say..Don't rub your eyes...yes it does exist and I have got this one confirmed from few Jain friends themselves. Its a preparation without onions and garlic but with chicken)
7. Chinese Jain cutlets (..looks like Jains and Chinese have some past life connection..how I wonder?)
8. Gobhi Manchurian (Chinese da puttar)
9. Spring Dosa (hmmm! no springing surprise)
10. Idli Manchurian (Aah..we Indian veggies can be so creative, nah!)

I am sure there are many more such hybrid and ingenious culinary delights which exist across India which will qualify the grey taste (or test).
Hope the above 10 menu items either got your tummy rumbling or at least you can now digest the logic of the grey anatomy of an Indian. If this is not enough food for thought then may be you should marinate...oops ruminate over it.


7.
Cleanliness is next to Godliness....but only at home -

I always wonder, how we are so adept as a nation in keeping our homes spic and span but fall so short on keeping our surroundings clean? And mind you, this trait is across all cultures and vultures. Once we step out of our home it ceases to be our responsibility towards being clean in our area and city.
I am sure you have seen many times, occupants of the most plush car throwing out of the windows the greasiest of wrappers, clinky cans and empty plastic bottles with such complete nonchalance. Or have you seen the red spitoons whizz past you with elan. These missiles fly around with so much ease and frequency that sometimes I feel if it ever becomes a competitive sport (like archery) we surely will have enough talent to choose from. They do also land on your kurta, shirt or trousers depending on the colours. Lighter the colour of your clothes, better chance they will have. Its like these red missiles are brand ambassadors of 'Daag acche hain' campaign.
Sartorial inclinations apart, these missiles sure do know what they are up to. They have their 'designs' exclusively for specific wall posters. Have you noticed how the remnants of these drippy missiles always provide a great topping for posters with messages 'Yeha thunkna mana hain' or 'Keep your city clean and green'. Or have you seen how these spittoons will be all over the place except where they are meant to be...in the dust bin that is. (Hmmm..looks like we wont have a chance in this 'competitive sport' as well, after all.)
But now look at the flip side...just look at us when we go abroad on our holidays or business visits. The same breed which throws, spits, litters and does many other disgusting acts in public domain thinks twice before doing the same when out of India. This behavior indeed is a great subject for study material and another example to prove the grey anatomy of an Indian.

8.
Cricket - The only true religion of us Indians

India maybe a country of
- 28 States
- 7 Union Territories
- 18 official languages
- 1000's of dialects
- 1.2 billion people

But its only with Cricket that India comes together...to discuss, debate, dissect, appreciate, criticize, venerate and celebrate with gusto, passion and enthusiasm India's place in the world of cricket.
When it comes to this religion it doesnt matter whether you belong to the haves or have nots, classes or masses, literate or illiterate, urban or rural, city or village, rich or poor...there is an unexplainable phenomena at play which unites the Indians in 1 big happy (when we win ofcourse!) family.
We are a country which looks upto these cricket players, turns them into heroes and sometimes zeroes. We look upto them for inspiration, cheer, team spirit and also as a means of escapism from the daily rigmarole of life.
It may not come as a surprise that we just might know by heart, statistics of India's past matches more accurately than our religious chants/prayers.
Also, I wont be surprised if Indians pray to GOD more religiously when cricket season is on than when it is not.
Prayer No. 1 - Oh God! let Sachin complete his century
Prayer No. 2 - God! Please let bhajji make his hattrick.
Prayer No. 3 - Please GOD, let Dravid stay on and win match for India!
so on and so forth...

When Indians come together to play, discuss or watch cricket you can be rest assured that atmosphere is going to be nothing less than electrifying, deafening and exuberant at the same time.
Little wonder then for all reasons mentioned above, to us Indians, Cricket is not just a game but a religion! And yes, we have 1 common GOD too! (and he goes by the name of Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar).

9. 'Sab chalta hain bhai' attitude, yeh hai India!

I am sure you have heard this phrase a zillion times over and tossed it aside just like any other casual topic which we cant do much about. But think it over, friends. 'Chalta hain' is being reasonable with yourself and being reasonable with others and their actions. If we as an individual and as a nation has to move forward we need to ask questions, be unreasonable, demand, push the envelope and then only we can expect to get the best and be best. The current Anti corruption movement is a case in example. How many times have we in our own life been subject to corruption or also been responsible for corruption. No one I know has been free from a corrupt act whether its giving a bribe to traffic police, buying a film ticket in black, getting a driving license, getting ration card, downloading pirated films or making some home renovations without necessary permissions. Its easy to point finger at politicians (and yes rightfully so) but we need to remember there are 4 fingers pointing back at us as well.

I agree, here we have to pay for everything which is essentially free...right from a birth certificate to death certificate which pretty much sums up how deeply steeped is corruption in our country. With a proper anti corruption system in place it will surely help to stop the rot at the top level where it actually starts and then flows down the ladder. For which I am very glad this movement led by Anna Hazare has happened and opened the eyes of the lakhs of 'Chalta Hai' Indians. Its truly a historic moment and I am sure across the world people will be looking at India very hopefully. No where else have movements with such magnitude of people and apolitical in nature have passed so peacefully which is the really victory of India and Indians.

And I hope this momentum gained in the past many days (12 days)does not go waste and energises Indians to be unreasonable henceforth about anything which is corrupt and also at the same time we spread the positivity around through our own individual actions. Its time we shed this thick skin called 'Chalta Hain' and don a new avatar which 'Makes good things happen".

10. Past perfect but Future Tense...I hope not!

India and its 20 Amazing Historical facts which you may already know but its worth putting down again.

1. India is the world's largest, oldest, continuous civilization.
2. India never invaded any country in her last 10000 years of history.
3. India is the world's largest democracy.
4. India invented the Number System. Zero was invented by Aryabhatta.
5. The World's first university was established in Takshashila in 700BC. More than10,500 students from all over the world studied more than 60 subjects. The University of Nalanda built in the 4th century BC was one of the greatest achievements of ancient India in the field of education.
6. Sanskrit is the mother of all the European languages. Sanskrit is the most suitable language for computer software - a report in Forbes magazine, July 1987.
7. Ayurveda is the earliest school of medicine known to humans. Charaka, the father of medicine consolidated Ayurveda 2500 years ago.
8. India was the richest country on earth until the time of British invasion in the early 17th Century. Christopher Columbus was attracted by India's wealth.
9. The art of Navigation was bornin the river Sindhu 6000 years ago. The very word Navigation is derived from the Sanskrit word NAVGATIH. The word navy is also derived from Sanskrit 'Nou'.
10. Bhaskaracharya calculated the time taken by the earth to orbit the sun hundreds of years before the astronomer Smart. Time taken by earth to orbit the sun: (5th century) 365.258756484 days.
11. The value of pi was first calculated by Budhayana, and he explained the concept of what is known as the Pythagorean Theorem. He discovered this in the 6th century long before the European mathematicians.
12. Algebra, trigonometry and calculus came from India. Quadratic equations were by Sridharacharya in the 11th century.
13. The earliest reservoir and dam for irrigation was built in Saurashtra.
14. Chess (Shataranja or AshtaPada) was invented in India.
15. Sushruta is the father of surgery. 2600 years ago he and health scientists of his time conducted complicated surgeries like cesareans, cataract, artificial limbs, fractures, urinary stones and even plastic surgery and brain surgery.
16. When many cultures were only nomadic forest dwellers over 5000 years ago, Indians established Harappan culture in Sindhu Valley (Indus Valley Civilization).
17. The place value system, the decimal system was developed in India in 100 BC.
18. India is one of the few countries in the World, which gained independence without violence.
19. India is the largest English speaking nation in the world.
20. India is the only country other than US and Japan, to have built a super computer indigenously.

Inspite of such brilliant achievements to our credit in the past its sad to see in today's times, Indians rank 87 out of 178 in the Transparency International's index of corruption in the world.
We have a great history and even greater achivements to our credit in Science, Engineering, IT, Literature, Space in recent times as well.

I hope that we as a nation realise the immense potential that lies within us and it becomes the super power to reckon with in the near future and not flounder on this great opportunity that lies ahead of us.

On this positive note, I end the Part II of 'Grey Anatomy of an Indian'. Hope it has helped to throw light on the grey areas and also helped you to see we Indians in a gre(y)at light.

Grey Anatomy of an Indian - Part I

Yes, the topic name has been very much inspired by the hugely influential work on the subject of human anatomy and also a popular medical drama TV series by the same name. But that's about it, the similarities end very much there. So if you are looking to read about either of those two subjects and draw comparisons, you might as well stop reading further, as this may not interest you at all. And this particular disclaimer is just that - to avoid any reader dissonance you may experience if at all.

Hey...great...i see that you are still on the page and reading further on the blog post. Then there's good news for you...I must say! As you continue reading further on this piece which is in parts a reflection of our daily life and parts opinionated, you might just stumble on something you can identify with as a 'Grey Indian'.

Let me start by sharing what the dictionary says about the word 'grey'.

grey - 7 dictionary results
grey or gray (ɡreɪ)

— adj
1. of a neutral tone, intermediate between black and white, that has no hue and reflects and transmits only a little light
2. greyish in colour or having parts or marks that are greyish
3. dismal or dark, esp from lack of light; gloomy
4. neutral or dull, esp in character or opinion
5. having grey hair
6. of or relating to people of middle age or above: grey power
7. ancient; venerable
8. (of textiles) natural, unbleached, undyed, and untreated

The 'grey' anatomy of an Indian really is a mix of all the above and yet purports to none of the above at the same time. Its nothing but a typical characteristic streak we all Indians innately possess. It is something which reflects in all that we think, we do and experience as a slice of our life. I would like to call what we have is grey because of its very fluid nature, its unfixed and also its all encompassing.

I can sense that the quizzical and impatient look on your face still persists and now I can actually hear you demanding of me what does 'grey' anatomy of an India really means? Hmm....my answer is a simple "Look around and look within you!".
If that has puzzled you even more then let me list down the Top Ten Grey Indian Idiosyncrasies and then let me ask you the same question at the end. My guess is this 'grey' will become more defined. The below top ten list is not in any particular order but much the order of my train of thoughts as I am typing on the QWERTY.

Top 10 Grey Indian Idiosyncrasies

No. 1.
Indian Standard Time (IST) - We all know that it means more than what it really stands for. We Indians take pride in the deeper meaning of IST, sometimes even joke about it and most times even get away using this short abbreviation as a crutch for long excuses. For instance...'Hey.. you were supposed to be here an hour back. What happened to you?' you ask your friend when he/she arrives late...and your friend quickly retorts back...'Arre yaar, you know Indian Standard Time right..it happens!' The matter ends there, no more questions asked.
We are like this only! Sab chalta hain.

Meetings, schedules, appointments, projects...all delayed...why? Blame it on 'Indian Standard Time'. 9 'o' clock meeting starts at 9.30, 11 'o' clock appointment scheduled with client but hey, where's the client?, a team meeting supposed to get over in 2 hours spills over for over half a day and a flight scheduled to land at 5pm is still guzzling fuel mid air (thankfully this has reduced off late). And less said the better of all the projects being executed out there...roads, bridges, airports...list is endless. Its a joke that these projects, scheduled to complete in months run into years and sometimes years into decades. And when they finally get completed notwithstanding the time over runs and cost runs, there are even joyous celebrations. Oh, yes celebrations! Why?.. you ask. Arre...because they got finally completed nah..bas!

Its the Grey Indian anatomy in full force across different levels, cadres, religion, age, financial background, cities and across the country. Nothing is absolute and definitely not certain. Unpredictability is the name of the game, friends. Of course there are few exceptions but only to prove that this rule exists.

2. The Grey (or grated) Indian Roads and road sense (or lack of it)
Much has been already been said, written and re written about the Indian roads... time and again. Not much where I can add my two bits except that its indeed a national 'phenomenace'. Sometimes we are left wondering, if this is what we experience in our cities with so called best-in-class infrastructure amenities, just shudder to think what would be the state of the towns and villages.
With so much stress, frustration, me-first attitude, road rage, colorful language and back breaking bumps experienced on our roads...it wont be a surprise if it becomes the road to perdition for its riders one day.
And coming to the road sense of its denizens, well..what can one expect from the poor souls when the roads itself are the villains of this story. We the denizens are mere victims of fate who play our part of the frustrated, impatient, unruly heroes with full gusto. We don't care 2 horns for the rules or the game. Its my way or highway...hmmm true..but where is the highway by the way?
Coming to the so called rules...a red signal means STOP and a green means GO....right! Well, not really if you are a true blue (correction..grey)Indian. A red signal at most times means cars zipping past you. For we are a breed of 'colour blind' Indians unless ofcourse our Desi Spidey Pandu is lurking behind a pole waiting to spin his web on the naive, Speedy Gonsalves.
Also, what more can be said about the sensuous dance movements of the Indian cars on the roads. Yes, the same place where cars keep changing lanes as if they are going out of fashion. Its a 'u better not come hither' look, then a kiss and finally 'make up' drama at its hilt. The CITY slicker with its swanky gait zooms upto and lightly kisses an alluring DEZIRE on its bum-per and then makes up speed pronto with another sprightly SPARK at the same time. Sometimes he gets a SCORPIO sting in the bargain, other times a CIVIC response (very rare though) and at most times he is in ACCORD with his ilk as they are part of the same tamasha every day. Whether you are A STAR or INNOVA(TER) no one can resist this Indian car-nama.
Its 'Car'pe diem on the road almost always. Seize the day or at times even someone's collar...same difference! Either you attain a ZEN like state and pass through this calmly or you can be assured of a 'Car'diac attack just sitting in your car.
Expect the unexpected from the grey Indians, its in their 'kar'ma.


3. Indian Judiciary -
Everything seems to be grey here...right from the guys who don the woolly hats and hammer 'order, order!' like in hindi movies of yore, to the grey cells for which they are supposed to be revered or the scanty grey patch on their shiny scalp. Thats the grey indian judiciary for you. But hey, theres more...

I am sure you have heard this one before...'You need to be in it first to win it!'
But alas one cant say the same thing when one has to file a lawsuit in this democracy (sadly). One might as well give in before the climbing the steps of this 'Ivory Tower'.
For taking the bold steps up this ladder a la Jack in the Bean Stalk story...either your silk suits need to have deep pockets or if not then these pockets should atleast confine a business card of certain Mr. Mister. Someone who can help you jump the serpentine queue of long forgotten cases or connect you with those who really matter.

But if you are one of the children of lesser god who has never seen a silk suit forget owning one, then forget it... unless ofcourse you are ready to 'go grey' in this system where there is no black or white.

4. Politicians -
Nothing more can be said of the 'greyest' of the lot in the top 10 list where integrity is a question mark and principles completely non existing. Only if they show us their true colours would the denizens of this country know what they really stand for. The somersaults which this breed is given to, one will never know where their loyalties lay....probably where they get royalties from.

5.
The Great Indian Jugaad- One grey area we should be proud of as it originates from Indian sensibilities and has now become a global buzzword in these trying times.

As per Wikipedia, 'Jugaad (also sometimes jugard) literally means an improvised arrangement or work-around, which has to be used because of lack of resources.'
Jugaad also applies to any kind of creative and out of the box thinking which maximizes resources for a company and its stakeholders.
It does have negative connotations to the word - temporary, unstable and quick fix. But one cant take away the fact that its being inventive at low cost and is an Indian way which has now been globally recognised.
Many examples of Jugaad originate from India which include the water-pump engine based vehicle on roads, washing machine which is used to make lassi, Tier 2 and 3 sleeper compartments in Indian railways to make room for more people to enjoy comforts of A/C at lesser costs, making quilts out of old and used sarees and even TATA Nano to an extent is jugaad of engineering which has been much written about as a success story across the world. Who could have thought of a car at Rs. 1 lac in today's times anywhere in the world, but we did it. Also, India is the home of the satchet and micro finance revolution and the biggest user of 'Missed call' and saving air time costs. These are just few of the known examples of how Indians have been inventive and made best available of the resources.

On this note I end my Part I of the Grey Anatomy of an Indian chapter. The other 5 points in the top 10 list will be posted shortly. I am hoping that you are at least half convinced at this point about why we Indians are innately grey. If you have any doubts still about their grey anatomy, I am sure they will get cleared after you read Part II.

Rain, Rain...please don't go away...and come again yet another day!

I was sitting at my office desk jamming hard on the keys of my laptop to complete a long and critical email and then as I moved my gaze away for a moment to think 'what next?', I got half distracted. Looking wistfully beyond the french glass windows of my office I was completely smitten by the beautiful sight which greeted me. The thick clouds had cast their grey blanket cover over the city and the faint pitter patter of rain drops had already started caressing the glass panes announcing the arrival of the city's first rains. The first rains always have the same effect on me, it mesmerizes my senses and then my mind takes a visual flight to a distant land in past and fond memories engulf my senses.

Rains... mean so many irrepressible emotions...gay abandonment, freedom, innocence, pure joy, romance, love, serenity, solitude, thrill, excitement and adventure....

The heavenly sweet fragrance of the first rains when it gets introduced to mother earth yet again ...is something which will linger forever in my memory. Even now it brings with it some long lost memories and the many wonderful experiences of beautiful rainy days of past which engulf me with its cool breeze.

Rains meant something very special as a small kid...a reason to hurriedly rush out from home and thrust into the soothing embrace of the first raindrops of the season just like we greet our much awaited best buddies on their arrival after a long wait.

Rains as a kid meant paper boats...boats set sail from the confines of our tiny hands into the muddy puddles and watching them go bobbing along the whirls of rain water pools. Sometimes surviving the tumult, sometimes going under and sometimes cruising along in synch with the emotions of the eagerly watching kids.
Rains meant gum boots, rains meant new school uniform and new text books being start of the new year at school. Rains meant splashing through puddles and drawing angry looks from adults. Rains meant innocence, mischief and peals of pure laughter. Rains meant raincoats and umbrellas..rains meant school grounds filled with water, rains also meant chutti from school on lucky days when it rained cats and dogs. Rains meant missing school bus and not reaching school on time.
For me, it also meant climbing on Fiat's bumpers and wiping with a pair of deft hands ..the raindrops hanging on the window panes in a single finishing stroke. Also, sometimes losing my balance in that act and falling off the car and breaking bones. Yes..and getting a fracture too!

Rains in college meant picnics, hikes and treks to nearby mountains....enveloped with a lush green carpet and beautiful waterfalls.
Rains meant bunking college and going for movies, having bhutta on the beach.
Rains meant walking along marine drive with someone special and braving the splashing waves of the Arabian sea and getting half wet and half embarrassed.

Rains meant going away on impulse drives with your gang to nearby Alibaug beach, Bushy Dam at Lonavala or Matheran and not to forget, coming back with hoarse voices from all the singing and shouting.
Rains meant bunking college (again!)for no reason and sitting in college canteen and playing antakshari with the whole zing bang, creating ruckus and bringing the college down.
Rains meant cutting chai and hot bhajjias. And if at home, then a cup of warm coffee, a romantic book snuggled with a warm blanket..with soft numbers on the cassette player or an old movie on the VCR.

Rains...Rains..rains...oh so many emotions..and memories of yore, cherished even today.
So today in spite of some days when it decides to go berserk and play havoc with our feelings, cause traffic jams and potholes in our lives...i must say rains....thank you for these wonderful memories..i love you all the same!

Rain, Rain...please don't go away...and come again yet another day!

A Landmark in my life - Part II

Life is but a series of lessons that we learn at every step. Some lessons are like jumps over small puddles and some like high jumps while some are like steeple chase and some seem like pole vault jumps. While most of them, you prefer to forget or better still they just fade away into oblivion, very few of them tend to leave an impact on you which you carry forever.

Amongst the few lessons that tend to have the stickiness factor (Thank you Malcolm Gladwell for the term) and leave a deep impact on you are the ones which shape you into a new and evolved human being.
The Landmark Forum was exactly one of those few experiences which left an indelible impression on my mind - an eye opener, break through and transformational in nature.

If you have seen the 'Before & After' commercials then this is what Part II is exactly going to be all about.
You must have observed that in most of those cheap, gimmicky Before/After weight loss type of ads, it talks about how Ria, Rupa and Reema shed their excess weight and moved from a bulky 75 kgs built to a slender frame of 55 kgs in just 3 months.
But the central character of this 'Before/After' however is not part of the Ria, Rupa and Reema ilk and is none other than yours truly. Honestly, I did lose weight but not in the real sense of the word. More importantly, I shed a lot of baggage which I was carrying with me till I ‘got’ the Forum, after which I truly felt lighter and free.

Unlike the quick fix weight loss promotions we see on TV/newspapers, which leave us with very little positive and permanent effects, this one I truly believe will be forever.

Before the Landmark, if you had met me, I was a person whose thoughts would typically read like below.
"I am absolutely perfect and I don't need to change anything about me or better still transform".
"My life is just right and I know what I am doing. There can't be a better way to lead life other than this."
"I don't think there is anything amiss or any issue with the way my life is going. It’s just fantastic."
"My family, friends and colleagues are absolutely fine and happy with the way I am so why should I do Landmark or any other transformational course. That's just something for someone who has problems in life. I have no problems at all, in fact I have friends who look up to me for advice."
In short, I was this Ms Know-it-all!!!

And after Landmark, I don't have to tell you, right? But I still will!

My tone has changed dramatically. Not to say that I didn't lead a good, happy and content life before, but my perspective about my own self has undergone a complete U turn. What I am or perceived myself to be, my relationships, my fears and apprehensions, my feelings, emotions and most of all, my language, whether in thoughts or the spoken word, has gone through a sea change and I feel like Christopher Columbus who has just explored a new far away land. In my case of course the new me!


If you have already gone through the experience of stumbling upon the unknown side of you which always existed but not known to you...you would exactly know my situation.
A Eureka moment in your life!

I must say, each person 'gets' the forum differently depending on their past experiences, age, maturity and openness to new concepts. What I have written here is my perspective with my limited understanding from the years spent on the face of the earth.


A Few Lessons Learnt at Landmark Forum worth sharing:

A) Already always listening
Background - We think of ourselves as open and objective, but in fact our approach to ourselves, our circumstances and others is often filtered and even obscured by pre-existing notions/values, by our upbringing, values and past experiences.

For example:
You are in a conversation with a friend or spouse or colleague, exchanging thoughts and words and emotions very animatedly and discussing very openly. (or so you think)
You are having this great dialogue/conversation which is flowing very well between the two of you. But how many times during the conversation have you really, really been listening to what the opposite person is actually saying or trying to say.
Most of the times, aren't we just waiting for the opposite person to stop speaking so you can start giving your views, opinions and thoughts about the subject of conversation. We have already formed this view/opinion about the world based on our past experiences and we think that's the best view of things. And these thoughts cloud our mind so much so, that we are not even listening to the views of the opposite person. Moreover, we don't want to wait for other person to stop talking,we just want to hog the conversation thinking that what we have is the best and the other person has to accept it that way.
That's 'Already always listening' to the thoughts in our mind which is based on our past experiences and not to what the opposite person has to say.

B) Hidden Power of Context
Background -All behavior, all ways of being and acting are correlated to the context(s) from which we live our lives.

For example (The Good Samaritan experiment from the book 'The Tipping point'):
To establish the 'Power of Context' experiment, there were 2 groups formed of students studying theology (study of religion). Both groups were asked to prepare a short, extemporaneous talk on any biblical theme, then walk over to a nearby building and present it. Along the way to the presentation, each student ran into a man slumped in an alley, head down, eyes closed, coughing and groaning. The question was who would stop and help?


To make the experiment more interesting there were some variables introduced.
a) Before the experiment started the students were given a questionnaire as to why they had chosen theology. Did they see religion as a means of personal or spiritual fulfillment.
b) Others were given the parable of Good Samaritan (The popular story of how a traveler who was beaten and robbed and left for dead by the side of the road was overlooked by 2 priests while they were passing by but helped by a man- a Samaritan, member of a despised minority who not only helped him heal his wounds but provided shelter)
c)Some students while they were being sent to the other building were told ' Oh you are late, they were expecting you a few minutes ago." (Basically a hint to make them aware that they are already running late)
While some students were told, 'It will be a few minutes before they are ready for you, you have time but you might as well head now."(A hint to make them know that they have some time at hand)

The experiment was to understand which group of people would stop by and help the destitute lying on the road.
It was interesting to note that the group which was told that they had very little time, literally stepped over the victim as he hurried on his way in spite of the fact that he was told the parable of Good Samaritan, (a story about compassion) before he was sent to the other building.
The words 'Oh you are so late' had the effect of making someone who was ordinarily compassionate into someone who was indifferent to suffering- of turning someone, in that particular moment, into a different person.
That's the Power of Context. What this study is suggesting, in other words, is that the convictions of your heart and the actual contents of your thoughts are less important, in the end, in guiding your actions than the immediate context of your behavior.
In a nutshell, we can stop being judgmental if we understand the context of a person's behavior or background of an event.


C) The Vicious Circle

Background- There is a human tendency to collapse what happened, with the story we tell what happened. The collapsing happens so fast that it is hard to separate the two and we think of them as one and the same. And over time the story we tell ourselves becomes the way it is - the reality we know. It limits what is possible in our lives, robbing us of much our joy and effectiveness.

For example:
Imagine you walking on the road and someone you know from your locality who is also very friendly with you, is walking towards you from the opposite direction. However, as you come closer, that person suddenly decides to cross over to the other side without as much looking at you, forget acknowledging your presence. Leaving you feeling awkward with half a smile left on your face..and a little hurt with this sudden 'turn' of events.
The immediate interpretation we make out of the situation at that time is, he/she has ignored you purposely or he/she may be upset with you over something that may have happened and hence purposely overlooked you.
Now if you look at it objectively, the situation was simple, the person in his/her sheer absent-mindedness must have crossed the road and not even realized the presence of you, who was walking towards him/her. May be he/she was engrossed in his own thoughts/problems, you never know!
But the interpretation of this situation has already been created in your mind and that becomes the reality for you. So every time you both meet, there would be some situations where you will try to find ways to justify that your friend always ignores you and then that becomes a Vicious Circle.

D)Rackets - Pay off and cost

A Racket is an unproductive way of being or acting that includes a complaint that something shouldn't be the way it is. Often, we don't notice that while our complaints may seem justified or even legitimate, there is a certain payoff- some advantage or benefit we are receiving that reinforces the cycle of behavior. At the same time, this way of being has steep costs, whether in our vitality, affinity, self expression or sense of fulfillment.

For example:

In a relationship with your spouse or parents or even a close friend, do you always have a typical complaint which you use to win an argument or get better of a situation? You may be justified in that complaint or it may be legitimate as well, but have you seen that just because you want to win that argument or get some benefit in that short term you invariably use it as a trump card.
What we don't realize is that it very much stifles the relationship and does not help us to take it to the next level of happiness, fulfillment or satisfaction in that relationship. That's why its important to let go off the past, let go of these rackets because only thing that matters is what we choose to be now or choose to see now.

E) Access to being Extraordinary (In the language of Landmark Forum)
"Each of us would like to be extraordinary; to have our lives matter, to excel in the areas that are important to us - our families, our work, relationships, our financial futures. Every day we are presented with the opportunity either to live a 'business as usual' life, or to create something beyond who we've been and what we know. To explore the opportunity that we have to express ourselves individually and fully, to set aside current standards, to question firmly held assumptions, to be at ease no matter what the circumstance and to break and reinvent the mould."

Thank you Landmark!!!

A Landmark in my life - Part I

Dictionary meaning Landmark : -a significant or historic event, juncture, achievement, etc.

This is it how it goes..a snippet of a conversation between me and my friend some time back....
"Oh...ok, so you are planning to do the Landmark Forum. But why?? Are you going through any problems in your life or at work or something. Isn't it the place where people eventually go to when things go topsy turvy in their life".
Now that was a question I had heard just recently many times over, as soon as I had announced to the world about my intention to do the Forum. As if attending Landmark forum was the most perceptible thing to do ONLY if you hit the most stumbling roadblocks of your life and not because you want to see yourself transformed into a better human being. Which is what it does largely and the real reason for my enrolling.
My reply for the nth time was an indignant "NO" but this time I just didn't care to explain the 'why?'. I was in no mood for any reasoning and also didnt want to temper the bubbles of curiosity which I knew were frothing in my friends' head about the so called imaginary (imagined by her)'problems' in my life.
So with a sadistic glee I just let the conversation die a premature death.

Flashback to 2 months before, where it all started.
'So what is this Landmark forum all about?" an innocent question to my hubby, Ashish when I first heard about it and also his interest in attending the forum. He had mentioned to me earlier that he had heard about it from an ex colleague who had been urging him to attend it and he had been brushing it off like any inconsequential event.

His answer to my question was even more quizzical and left me begging for more answers. All he said was if I needed to know more, I had to attend it personally and there were no easy answers.
Since it all sounded exciting and intriguing, I surmised there must be something in it. Also, its not everyday that my hubby gets interested in something new other than Football, Old cinema, History & Wikipedia(very much in that order). Very difficult indeed to get him hooked on..a complete snob for new interests!

His willingness to finally relent looked liked the proverbial case of the curious cat having bitten him.
So when he told me he was attending the Landmark forum, "So be it, go ahead and attend!" ...I muttered to myself half happy, not that he was asking my expert opinion but I wanted to think so.

Back after 3 days of the intense sessions of Landmark forum when I finally met him, I actually refused to recognise him! It wasn't like he did the SRK makeover act from "Rab ne bana di..." on me nor had he turned into a Mark Darcy from "Pride and Prejudice" and was wooing me on bended knee. But yes, I definitely saw a transformed Ashish..'new and improved' as folks from HLL and P&G claim for all their brands. Forgive the pun, but the reason why I am saying this is, I heard him saying something to me which truly left me drop jaw astounded. And it made me ask him, "Are you alright? Hope you are ok!!!"...when actually I wanted to ask him was "Have you lost it or are you on drugs?" But somethings are better not said especially when they (hubbys')are being nice to you. What he was telling me was what every spouse would love to hear but gets in short dosage typically. He had said those 3 magical words "I love you" and almost in the same breath, "I am sorry!" ...the next 3 magical words again any spouse would love to hear and also gets it in small doses. Well...all I did was soak in the moment and enjoy the warm fuzzy feeling as they say which accompanies these golden words..wishing that the minutes of this conversation turn to hours and more. It was too good to be true..like a typical ' I had to pinch myself' situation. After hearing those magical words, its anybody's guess that what followed was mere shaking of head and a stunned absent minded acknowledgment from my side to what he was saying... when inside I was still reeling under the wave of emotions which had welled up out of the blue.
As I was gathering my wits and absorbing every word that was leaving his jaw, the coup de grace that sealed the conversation was "I think you must also experience the Landmark forum. Its good you know."

With these words of his, I came back into the real world.
But I just left it at that, least bothered about his last statement. I accepted this to be one of my good days not to come again so soon and expecting to see the real Ashish again the next morning...sober, practical and not fuzzy like the previous night.


But surprise surprise! The facade had not slipped and what I thought was going to be a dream run ..was actually a full marathon. 1, 2 , 3, 4.....10 days...2 weeks passed but it was still going strong. And then I was eventually convinced that it was not just a facade he was wearing but a real transformation. And mind you, it wasn't just words but actions as well.

By then I had also heard a lot of new terms in those many days BE COMPLETE, RACKETS, STRONG SUITS etc which were new to me but equally mysterious. Even though they sounded like the simplest of words, I was sure they had a deeper meaning which I was looking to unravel and that too at the earliest.

Cut to present....
The day had arrived and I was going to attend my Landmark forum. I had been, in the past couple of months, looking forward to this day after having witnessed the positive after effects on someone dear who had attended it.

What was in store for me? I didnt know. But I was ofcourse ready for a myriad of experiences - high and low, revelations, discoveries and looking into the unknown dark places in my mind which I never knew existed.

End of Part I

Birth of Innocence

Dear Masoom Pears,
There's a popular saying which goes like this, 'A child gives birth to a mother' and when I heard it for the first time I wondered what it meant and scoffed at the possible meaning. Years later now having experienced the joys of motherhood, there cant be a truer statement than that in my life.
Having Anvita in my life now, has transformed me totally and made me realize the strength and true meaning of this phrase. Her innocent questions, angelic smile, her pure laughter and gentle touch, her sweet face and all of that makes my day truly complete just being with her.
At 5 years she is a complete live wire, vivacious, witty and bundle of energy. And true to her name which means 'The one who bridges the gap', she always makes new friends wherever she goes and also stays in touch with them.
Being all that its not a surprise that she loves to go and out and play with friends every evening, run around and on bad days end up with scratches and bruises. One of those bad days when she had bruised herself and was back home early she happened to see the Masoom Pears soap TV commercial when her grand parents were watching TV. She was totally fascinated by the jingle and the mother-daughter relationship shown in it. So when I returned home from work that day she immediately ran to me and with tears welling up in her eyes she showed me her bruised elbow and through her sobs she insisted that I give her a bath with Masoom Pears soap only. I asked her why Pears? She told me that she had seen the ad on TV and now she wanted to have bath with Masoom Pears from then onwards. When I heard her tell me her innocent reason, I almost had tears in my eyes. She said that she also wanted to have as much fun while having bath like the little girl in the ad did with her mamma.

Rest they say is history...Anvita has got a new friend, Pears soap and as regards me, I have been hooked onto Pears soap thanks to Anvita my dearest daughter, who true to her name has bridged the gap between us and Pears in her Masoom way.

Thank you Pears for helping Anvita enjoy her bath everyday.

Warm regards,
Anvita's mamma, Aparna

Chor Police

When we were young many(many many) years ago..well, I am talking on behalf of all 30 and 40 somethings here... about 20 years back...we used to play a thrilling game called 'Chor Police'. Oh! How we used to love being the Chor because then we could stay hidden without being caught and wait (or rather not wait)for the moment when someone would discover our new hiding place which only you or your team knew about, till then. The thrill we used to get, to know that we were undiscovered through the whole evening when your friends playing police used to frustratingly search high and low and even beyond the boundaries of the compound (yes, we did 'step over the line' sometimes) looking for the 'chors' that is us, but to no avail.
Staying put for hours together in that secret place half sweating and half wanting to pee badly...would still not deter us from leaving that 'comfort zone'...in spite of the fact that we were these bunch of hyperactive and adrenaline charged kids.
No one would love to 'don the cap' of the police as it was so uninteresting and a boring chore... searching, sniffing for trails, lurking, inquiring for clues and when discovered, chasing the nimble chors across the dusty playgrounds, hopping over small and big muddy water holes attempting to get their hands at catching the slippery chors...but alas no such luck. The sweaty palms of the police some how could never catch hold of the sweatier backs of the chors. Because being a chor always had the distinct advantage of 'one running as if to save his dear life' like how a prey does while the police were just running 'to earn that big badge'..not as desperate I would think. Playing the chor in a nutshell, was more exciting to me as a kid than being the respected but boring police.
Cut to 25 years later......the wordchor and also in the real sense has become such a ignominious word in our lexicon that it has completely lost the innocent sheen around it as in 'chor police' of yesteryears.
Now of course we are all grown up and grown out of 'chor police' days and have well realized that its not good to play the 'chor' anymore. So when we hear about these stories in newspapers and TV and sometimes from close acquaintances about they being at the receiving end of some good for nothing petty thieves or conniving home burglars or some such remaining ilk...it makes you livid, makes your blood curdle and make you wish you had at least one fighting chance with any of these rascals and you would knock the hell out of them. But knocking out was a good option only if you knew one of those Jackie Chan moves or Mithunda's dance kicks of Disco Dancer. Otherwise for the majority of us who did not grow on the staple diet of Bruce lee movies....only 1 option was available...that is using a can of pepper spray, blinding them out and kicking them in that 1 place which would make them remember their 'nani' for their next 7 births. But where do you get Pepper cans...somebody please tell me!

I always used to dream (or rather nightmare)about it.....this sequence of the Chor stealing something from me, on this cold, lonely and dark road and I helplessly trying to scream out 'Help' or 'Catch Thief' but somehow the words never seemed to come out...always! As if the throat had suddenly gone dry and parched just when I needed it most. And then I used to wake me up scared and sweating. After realizing that it was just a dream...with a huge relief would go back to my sleep. I am sure many of us have experienced this dream one time or another...in their life time so far.
Ok....even of this story and my filmy dream. Let me not play the chor police drama with you anymore. So what am I trying to say here is...what if.... what if this sequence from your dream (or nightmare in this case) actually becomes a reality and you are faced with a situation where you really are part of a chor police like situation. What do you actually do?
This is where the actual story begins.
One fine Saturday evening, hubby and me after our long walk in the greens of Aarey Milk colony area, headed towards the Hanuman temple like we always did. Me in my newly acquired pair of Adidas sports shoes was all gung-ho in spite of my tired feet. Sometimes, wearing something new for the first time gives you that extra energy and you get all pumped up...i feel. Its another thing that you end up with your feet in hot water tub when you reach home...but that's another point, let me not digress.
Coming back to the story...both of us, all tired and sweating from the walk reached the temple just in time before the evening Aarti started. I had recently come to know about my FIL's shoes getting stolen from outside another temple just a few days back, so I was in two minds about leaving my brand new shoes worth over 3k behind unattended. I thought maybe my hubby should go in first and then I would enter the temple after he came out. But then I said no, this is a safer area and no one had heard about shoes getting stolen, not from this temple at least.
So we decided to go in together. My hubby went inside and while I was removing my shoes slowly, I could sense a pair of eyes staring at me and my squeaky new shoes in a very obnoxious way. My sixth sense realized that all was not safe here. So I removed my shoes even more slowly and moved just a little bit towards the temple while still keeping a watch from the corner of my eye on those prying eyes. It must have been less than half a minute that I turned my back to face the god and after few moments when I suddenly turned behind, as if on instinct to take a look at my shoes they were not there. That's when I saw this man in his 30's, that is owner of the prying eyes, conveniently slipping on his feet into my shoes and making a quick dash towards the exit.
I swung and ran towards him and started screaming chor..chor all at the same time. (women are good at multi-tasking, you see)Thank you god, my throat also did not disappoint when I needed it most. All of a sudden, the entire temple sprang into an action movie mode from the devotional mode it was in, a few moments back. Me in my socks ran after him all the way down the road almost like I did when we used to play chor police. The scene was straight out of a movie..me running after him yelling chor chor and he running desperately like a prey who did not want to get caught. After about 400 meters, get caught he did as he ran straight into a bunch of teenagers walking towards our direction. With my top of the lung screaming, they realised that what was running towards them was a hare caught in a headlight scared for life.
And then...the usual scene followed where the mob decided to have a free hand at the rogue and hurled the choicest abuses at him. In the mean time I had noticed that this thief while he was denying he had done any wrong, was not wearing my shoes. I got suddenly petrified as the prized prey after whom I ran like never before...(at least not after I ran in the running race on school sports day in my 7th standard)...was not prized any more.
Where were my shoes????
That's when after much collaring, the drunken rogue confessed that he had left them by the temple after realizing that he could not run fast enough with someone like me behind his back. I quickly ran back to the temple and heaved a sigh of relief on seeing my gleaming pair all unattended but still lying safely by the road and calling out to their momma.

All this while when the drama was unfolding outside the temple, which was a matter of just five minutes, my hubby had realized that I was no where inside the temple premises and got worried as to where I disappeared out of the blue. He also heard a flurry of commotion outside the temple so he stepped out hoping to find me. Not knowing that I was reason for the commotion my hubby after seeing me right in the middle of the collected crowd, walked up to me very innocently asked me where I was all this while. I could not help but smile and said to myself 'Living my chor police dream and enjoying it too!!! God had finally given me my fighting chance with a chor and how exhilarating it was.

Just for your information, what happened after this drama was that with the help of local people we sent the thief to the police station and got him locked up. I don't know if it would mean that he will change his ways but I surely did not want to let him off...after all we already had 1 pair of shoes (my FIl'S shoes) out there, up for sale for peanuts by one such drunkard thief.

So what's the Moral of the Story
'Sometimes you don't need a pair of Adidas or NIKE shoes to help you run faster, even a pair of socks would do'

Tale of two cities!

With a name like that for a blog post, one could at once get an attack of a 'blast from the past'. Fond memories from school of your favorite English teacher mouthing lines from the timeless classic.

But no!...this is not about Charles Dickens and his evergreen literary work and nor about the cities of London and Paris like in the famous 'Tale of Two Cities'.

Its about my favorite city Mumbai where I live and the other, a city I just visited recently - Philly (for the uninitiated - Philadelphia). Though I hate to show my favorite city in a bad light I cannot resist a comparison between the two. Even though they both have rich historical leanings to boast of, the similarities quite simply end there. They are proverbially speaking, as different as chalk and cheese.

Let me start with what I saw, heard and which conquered my heart in and about Philly during my brief stay of two weeks.

To begin with, I would like to introduce you to Philly as 'City of Murals'. Why? Because the guide, a young chap with tongue in cheek humour on the hop on-hop off bus of Philly tour said so. And I completely bought it. It seems Philly has around 3000 murals spread across the city, that too more than any other city in USA and that is why it gets the name. You can see murals in all sizes, colours, themes, objects, types of people, scenery and painted across all kinds of buildings, facades, backs and sides..they really make a pretty picture and add a lot of character to the city, I must say. But do you know how these murals came about.

Its an interesting story. The murals were initiated as part of a six week youth program meant for anti-graffiti activity. Which means a lot of youth from socially backward areas in Philly used to indulge in defacing the city walls out of sheer frustration, disregard for the system and callousness of civic sense. A young muralist in 1984 saw an opportunity to use Murals as a soft (brush) weapon for steering these youth towards a more meaningful art rather than ugly graffiti. As is the rule with any graffiti artist, they respect each others art so when they had murals to be painted on city walls it was not difficult to have works of murals being left untouched without any defacing attempts by fellow painters. Also, the murals helped them to bring out the best creativity, earn some pocket money and also helped to change the look of the city and create an enduring legacy through each of these unique murals. As is written about in a book, the process was as much an art of diplomacy and consensus building, as paint and perspective. It also helped to remove stigma around addiction and homelessness, the victims of which were largely and actively involved in the mural program.

Such a program eventually turned Philly into 'City of Murals' on the tourist map. All in all a fantastic program which a city successfully used for betterment of its less privileged citizens, create a vibrant city, provide it a unique character different from other cities and eventually making it a tourist attraction that leads to filling up the kitty of the city municipality. A brilliant idea, well executed!

And now coming to Mumbai where I stay, work and very much (try to) breathe. If the beautiful and vibrant Mural culture is characteristic of Philly then I am sorry to say...the ugly and gross hoarding (billboard) culture is characteristic of Mumbai cityscape. And more despairing is the fact that all these illegal hoardings are largely put out by political parties who are meant to ensure the city's civic sense intact and keep surroundings clean.

But hello...what is civic sense? they ask.

No one has heard about it here, so there they go plastering any available inch of city wall with horrendous hoardings with even more ugly looking faces of themselves looking sneeringly at the poor souls like you and me. Either these hoardings are meant to announce the arrival of some senior politician in town or a wannabe wishing his/her Guru on birthday or simply wishing the citizens (who don't care a rat's ass) a ''Happy Diwali, Christmas, Dassera or Eid''.

Well...what we really care for is the city and its surroundings. Even if there has been a law that has been passed to not allow political parties to push their ugly menacing faces into ours they still do that. And worse...get away with it! How I wish that if looks could really kill, then I would stare hard with my 'killer' looks at all these illegal hoardings and they would drop down from these hoardings like nine pins and perish into thin air (poof!). Alas! the hoardings don't perish nor the faces that adorn them. That's the sad but true story of Mumbai so far.

Coming back to Philly...I had heard about this unique and must see touristy place called the 'Liberty Bell' and the history around it. With Philadelphia being the first national capital between 1790 to 1800 when Washington DC was being built, it adds more history to its existence than any other city in USA (mostly). Also Philly considered as the birthplace of American revolution and independence, the Liberty Bell became even more must see sightseeing attraction to me on paper...but alas was disappointed to see a Bell that size and nothing really much to crow about. I have seen much better bells than this one (keeping aside its history). 18th century is not really old considering Mumbai has much older history to it. But I was truly amazed by the hoopla and the marketing surrounding the same. The Americans surely know how to package their products and market them well. Lessons learnt, right.

Now compare this with our Elephanta Caves which are considered as old as 5th to 8th century AD. They have such fantastic and intricate rock cut Hindu and Buddhist sculptures, unfortunately not so well maintained as they are supposed to be. Also, the access to the island caves is much to ask for. 
The ferries are as rickety and noisy as my 95 year old granny's creaking cupboard....and only operational during non-monsoon period. The pier that is the landing strip is again strewn with plastic junk of all kinds which is not really a welcome sight. Only recently some efforts are being made for any restoration and maintenance of Elephanta caves. However, we surely lag far behind in appreciating the rich heritage that we have among us and we just cannot value the beauty and history which resides so close. Worse still, we cannot maintain it. Only if we can take a hard look at each of the unique historical structures remaining in Mumbai or any other city in India, maintain it, bring it to life and also package and market it well (like the Americans do). The amount of pride each citizen will have for his/her city will be immense. Not to mention that it will serve as revenue generation avenue (from tourists).

We can write reams and reams on what our authorities can do and must do to save our city. How about starting in our own backyard? 
Gandhiji's famous quote, 'Be the change you want to see in the world' makes so much sense even in this context.

- Let's stop littering our city with the remnants of our consumption   (choclate/wafers/other junk food) and instead dump it in your hand bag.

- Let's stop chucking out stuff from the backseat of your (fancy) car and instead carry it  home and dump it in your garbage can.

- Stop spitting...yes, I have seen the deepest red coloured spittoon swooping from the    back seat (not driver's seat)of the most latest Merc. 

- When on holidays in mountains/beaches (wherever) lets stop littering it with mineral  water bottles, plastic wrappers and instead take it back to hotel in case you don't see the  dust bin anywhere.

If each one of us shows patience and stops complaining about the unavailable resources we can surely start making a difference although small.

If we the 'supposed to be educated' souls first understand the importance of civic sense then only it can spread like a movement. Lets begin it soon before its too late. Or else....I see Bombay (which means 'Good bay' in Portuguese) soon becoming Slum bay.

Did I hear a ...'We are already one!' from someone. Ok, that was my inner voice.

Oh God! Really hope not!

Monsoon Song

To be sung in the tune of 'Tuzya Nanachi Taang'

Its that time of the year, when the same ol' fear reappears
Its time for us to scream out & bellow
BMC chya Nanachi Taang!

The  come down dear, as if in 4th gear
And then play havoc with roads, far and near
BMC chya Nanachi Taang!

Potholes, craters and bumpers leer
as if lusting for your tyre tears
makes you feel like a mortal mere
BMC chya Nanachi Taang!

Car rage, stress and repair bills
Becomes a part of the monsoon drill
Makes you holler even more
BMC chya Nanachi Taang!

We have had enough and more
Cant take this anymore
The roads, dust and the back sore
BMC chya Nanachi Taang!

Can we not all do something
to stop the rot and the done thing
make ourselves heard loud and clear
BMC chya Nanachi Taang!

So, when the time comes for next year
Dont let the same fear reappear
We can sing happily and once more
BMC chya Nanachi Taang!

Mumbai Darshan - Thoda Hatke

When you receive an email from your boss requesting you to escort a senior colleague visiting India, for Mumbai Darshan ...one doesn't have a choice, right! So, when me and my colleague received the email from our boss, we had the typical expression of 'Oh no, please spare me from this' on our face. Not just because it will mean escorting someone you have not met before but also because you are totally not sure about what their interests are. But third and most challenging task being finding places worth visiting in Mumbai from a phirang's point of view.
But escort we had to....whether we liked it or not.

With 2 weeks in hand we had a relatively good amount of time to do our homework and figure out which places that could be deemed as worth visiting. Also, had enough time to drop her a email to know her interests and we found out that she was interested in Indian culture, its temples, monuments and history. Hmmmm.... this was getting difficult than expected. The choice set was getting narrower by the day.Having stayed in Mumbai for all my life suddenly I found myself in a tight spot. My colleague had the comfort of being an outsider (she is from Belgaum)with limited knowledge of the city so obviously she magnaminously bowed out of the situation and so the onus was on me to provide all the expert knowledge on the city. As always Google Maharaj came to my rescue and whipped out a handful of delightful places which matched our guest's 'requirements'. The Google list threw up around 25 places in Mumbai which were culturally and historically oriented. Felt a little a comforted and surprised at the same time.
Comforted by the array of choices available to me now and surprised with my ignorance... ignorance about my city's 'historical' side.
The tripadvisor website actually came up with 34 places related to our city's historical inclinations.
(Visit for more info - http://www.tripadvisor.com/Attractions-g304554-Activities-c1- Mumbai_Bombay_Maharashtra.html#TtD)


After spending some more time going through the list I realised that out of the entire list may be only 5-6 places would be relevant and worth visiting considering the monsoons and time available with us.

The tourist's and my favourite Elephanta Caves was struck off the list almost immediately considering the rains and choppy seas, though it seemed the most obvious choice of interest for that day. Also some others could not make it to the list because of their far flung locations and time considerations.
After much head scratching the list was ready and which read as follows
Gateway of India
Price of Wales Museum (aka Chattrapati Shivaji Vastu Sangrahalaya)
Jehangir Art Gallery
Colaba Causeway
Lunch at Leopold (an attraction post 26/11)
Fab India (for Indian shopping)
Rajabai Tower
VT Station
Asiatic Library
Flora Fountain
Banganga
Malabar Hill
Mahalaxmi Temple
Worli Bandra Sea link

With my borrowed knowledge of Mumbai city from my fave book 'Fort Walks' I knew I could answer any question about the city. Also,my experience of Mumbai with Odati's Mumbai cycle ride last year had equipped me with enough exciting dope about city's history and interesting trivia.
(For more info visit http://www.odati.com/viewactivity.php?id=s-14)

The day finally arrived and luckily for us the sun had decided to push aside the grey clouds beyond the horizon and make his warm and sunny presence felt. Good for us, as Mumbai rains are best experienced from the cosy confines of your home.

We finally met our firang guest ....yes, ....at the pre decided time at the hotel she was staying. After a brief exchange of greetings and introductions it was absolutely clear to us then onwards that our day was going to be enjoyable and pleasant. Our apprehensions were laid to rest and we knew that our anxiousness of so many weeks was completely uncalled for. She is one of the most pleasant and warm person I have met till now. She has the personality which makes you feel comfortable and at ease. Absolutely no hang ups and attitude issues. May be her job profile has shaped her personality or may be she is naturally like that....I don't know. But all I can say is the day was well spent and passed like a breeze.
We had our share of laughs and interesting moments which were amusing more so for her. We were at Jehangir Art Gallery, walking down the hall appreciating the unique art and displays. Suddenly a family with their little son and daughters swooped on Brantlee and requested her to pose for a photograph with their little son. It seemed a little awkward but flattering at the same time for Brantlee, we felt at that moment. She felt like a celebrity that we could tell from her brimming smile. After couple of pictures, this time the entire family wanted to pose with her. She readily obliged, again. And after lots of thank yous and byes we moved away from them. She could not get over the situation very easily and then I explained to her the fascination we Indians have for white skin. That explained her brief celebrity moment. I must say she had a very keen eye and great observation. She asked a lot of questions about things which seemed new to her and we were also stumped for answers couple of times.
When we told her about reincarnations of Gods in various avatars, she wanted to know about re-birth and whether we believed in it. If yes, then did we know who we were in our previous births. A typical question of a logical and agnostic mind unfortunately for which we did not have exact answers. Another time she asked us the relevance of the lemon and chillies weaved together and hung below the cars bumper. Then she saw a woman with a monkey and she wanted to know if we kept them as pets as well. I think after seeing the array of the animals with cows included on the road, she wanted to hear a 'Yes' on that probably but was clearly disappointed on hearing the answer. At Prince of Wales museum she was mesmerized by the innumerous gods we worshiped across India, more so with Krishna and why he was called the Blue God and how he died. She obviously had great fascination for Buddha, spiritualism and whether India had good relations with Tibet. We were not surprised to know that she practiced Yoga. But she definitely was shocked when she came to know that none of us in the India team practiced Yoga. May be she thought Yoga was way of life for us Indians, but she was mistaken. That's when I understood that as Indians we easily imbibe lot of unnecessary/unhealthy fads, habits from the West but the West however tends to borrow the best from what we have to offer.
She knew about the 26/11 terrorist attacks and wanted to know who was the main target for the attacks considering a lot of foreigners also got killed, especially the Jews. Being American, I think she was seeking some pointed answers.

Traveling in the car passing by rows of trees she was intrigued by the white and brown stripes uniformly painted on some trees and wanted to know why it was like that. She thought it had some religious significance. I must say she was studying the Mumbai city landscape very studiously and almost expected logical answers for every unique characteristic. I guess since it was her first time in India, she was hungrily devouring all the sights that the city had to offer not to mention the people and their clothes and wares.
And lastly on our last leg of the tour when we were going towards Banganga Temple she was approached by 2 young boys who thrust her with a piece of paper and asked her for her autograph. I guess by then Brantlee had got used to her fan following and 'celebrity' status so with great panache she signed off on the paper the boys had presented her and walked off with a bounce in her gait. What she didn't see was the disappointed expression on the faces of those kids as if they had expected something more. Well, expect more they did. As that the paper was not part of a autograph book but meant for donations collected towards some institution.

Thus with numerous such vivid experiences packed in our minds, the day came to an end quickly. A wonderful day which started with lot of apprehensions unwarranted but later made eventful and an absolute delight,thanks to our lovely guest Brantlee who we wish will come back again soon.

Conversation with GOD!

An interesting piece I came across which I would like to share with all...

Conversation with GOD!

God: Hello. Did you call me?

Me: Called you? No.. who is this?

God: This is GOD. I heard your prayers. So I thought I will chat.

Me: I do pray. Just makes me feel good. I am actually busy now. I am in the midst of something..

God: What are you busy at? Ants are busy too.

Me: Don't know. But I cant find free time. Life has become hectic. It's rush hour all the time.

God: Sure. Activity gets you busy. But productivity gets you results. Activity consumes time. Productivity frees it.

Me: I understand. But I still can’t figure it out. By the way, I was not expecting YOU to buzz me on instant messaging chat.

God: Well I wanted to resolve your fight for time, by giving you some clarity. In this net era, I wanted to reach you through the medium you are comfortable with.

Me: Tell me, why has life become complicated now?

God: Stop analyzing life. Just live it. Analysis is what makes it complicated.

Me: why are we then constantly unhappy?

God: Your today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday. You are worrying because you are analyzing. Worrying has become your habit. That's why you are not happy.

Me: But how can we not worry when there is so much uncertainty?

God: Uncertainty is inevitable, but worrying is optional.

Me: But then, there is so much pain due to uncertainty..
God: Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.

Me: If suffering is optional, why do good people always suffer?

God: Diamond cannot be polished without friction. Gold cannot be purified without fire. Good people go through trials, but don't suffer. With that experience their life becomes better not bitter.

Me: You mean to say such experience is useful?

God: Yes. In every terms, Experience is a hard teacher. She gives the test
first and the lessons afterwards.

Me: But still, why should we go through such tests? Why cant we be free from problems?

God: Problems are Purposeful Roadblocks Offering Beneficial Lessons (to)Enhance Mental Strength. Inner strength comes from struggle and endurance, not when you are free from problems.

Me: Frankly in the midst of so many problems, we don't know where we are heading.

God: If you look outside you will not know where you are heading. Look inside. Looking outside, you dream. Looking inside, you awaken. Eyes provide sight. Heart provides insight.

Me: Sometimes not succeeding fast seems to hurt more than moving in the right direction. What should I do?

God: Success is a measure as decided by others.. Satisfaction is a
measure as decided by you. Knowing the road ahead is more satisfying than
knowing you rode ahead. You work with the compass. Let others work with the
clock.

Me: In tough times, how do you stay motivated?

God: Always look at how far you have come rather than how far you have
to go. Always count your blessing, not what you are missing.

Me: What surprises you about people?

God: when they suffer they ask, "why me?" When they prosper, they never ask "Why me". Everyone wishes to have truth on their side, but few want to be on the side of the truth.

Me: Sometimes I ask, who am I, why am I here. I cant get the answer.

God: Seek not to find who you are, but to determine who you want to be. Stop looking for a purpose as to why you are here. Create it. Life is not a process of discovery but a process of creation.

Me: How can I get the best out of life?

God: Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear.

Me: One last question. Sometimes I feel my prayers are not answered.

God: There are no unanswered prayers. At times the answer is NO.

Me: Thank you for this wonderful chat. I am so happy to start the New
Day with a new sense of inspiration.

God: Well. Keep the faith and drop the fear. Don't believe your doubts
and doubt your beliefs. Life is a mystery to solve, not a problem to
resolve. Trust me. Life is wonderful if you know how to live.

"Life is what we make it, always has been, always will be."

A dedication to my dear parents (Aai and Pappa)

"If I had my child to raise all over again,
I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later.
I'd finger-paint more, and point the finger less.
I would do less correcting and more connecting.
I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.
I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.
I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play.
I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.
I'd do more hugging and less tugging."
-Diane Loomans

A very sweet poem written by a parent who wishes she could rewind to the time in past when she first became a mother and do all the things differently.

Well, as for me I feel blessed that I am a daughter (count my sister in) of those parents who don't have to sit in a time machine and go back into the past and change the way they brought us up. Its simply been a wonderful journey...Our childhood...with both mom and dad (aai and papa as we call them)bringing up two daughters exactly as Diane Loomans (author of the poem) would have loved to bring up her children as conveyed through her poem.
I am sure all my friends will also agree to being lucky for being brought up the way they have been by their loving and doting parents. But how many times in our daily lives do we actually acknowledge this fact and give back at least half of what they have given till date.
Well....this post is exactly that..A dedication to my parents.

I am what I am today...thanks to my parents and their wonderful upbringing. We (me and my sis) are indeed lucky to have them as our parents. Life has been very tough for them like any normal middle class couple would experience but never ever did they make us (me and my sis) aware of that. There were more troughs than peaks in their life when we were young and growing up but they surmounted all of them with equal poise and a quiet strength. Whether it was about fighting against the builders/ promoters in the courts of law for many many years for the home which they had invested with their hard earned money and which was rightfully theirs...or battling with an erstwhile leading MNC where my father worked ( which later filed for bankruptcy), for the Gratuity sum from service of more than 20 years. The hard work and incredible courage which my father quietly displayed is something I will never forget.
Perseverance and dedication are 2 virtues which I realized in my early life thanks to them.
When my Aai and Papa recount those old days about what really happened back then...me and my sister are completely overwhelmed as they never made us overtly aware of the sweat and the tears of the trying times.
Also, whether it was illnesses and days when we were going through some what economically trying times, we still had our celebrations on birthdays or festivals and even indulged in shopping like any other normal family would. We went to almost all the beautiful cities across India every summer vacation. And if not a new place it was surely Goa (Mangeshi Temple) our native place which we all loved to go back to again and again.

If commuting in taxis was a comfortable mode of transport back then (30 years back) my dad would not hesitate to call for one in spite of the given situations. But all this while he used to work...work like a dog at office, come back home and still find time to take his wife and kids to the beach or park at nearby Shivaji Park or a movie theater or something similar.

Besides that they groomed us into good human beings who do not grow at the cost of others or stepping on others toes. They taught us the importance of hard work, integrity, sacrifice, self respect and sincerity. They also taught us the meaning of unrequited love and kindness. We understood from them that life some times throws at us difficult and sometimes happy moments but its important to keep our balance, be grounded and understand that this too shall pass.
They always encouraged all our fancies whether it was learning to sing, swimming, learning the guitar, joining sports clubs and many other extra curricular activities which we evinced interest in. At the same time they did not give in to many of our other undeserved fanciful demands.Value of hard earned money is what we learnt through them.

Not to forget the important lesson of using our heart when dealing with our near and dear ones and using our head in the professional world or strangers, which will remain with me forever.

Thanks to the wonderful upbringing inculcated in us by our parents, we strive to pay it forward in our every day life with people we know and don't know sometimes. Isn't that the most beautiful process when you can lead your daily life with a wonderful conscience and a warm heart.

As sons and daughters I am sure we all try to ensure that our parents get all the comforts which we can provide them, a helping hand when the situation arises and meet all their requirements which typically arise in the sunset of their life. But what we don't realize is that more than all the above, they just want to be heard, they want to talk to their kids who are now busy in their careers and have meaningful conversations just like they had in the earlier days.
Now when they are old, (not as old as they would like to think because 60 is the new 40)and have grown up children (we) all they look forward to is tete a tete with their loved ones. They seem to be so happy when you call them and share your daily experiences that it completely makes their day. So I have suddenly realized as I am writing this post that the daily routine (which we consider) of calling them every day is their much required dose of adrenalin. They really look forward to our calls and when it doesn't come through on a day they are worried sick about us whereas we are blissfully ignorant about their feelings.
Also, some times when they have to call us during our office hours, due to pressing demands at work we either let it go as a missed call or hurriedly cut short the conversation. For us it is just another call which can be answered later but to them it means the most sometimes. Nothing is more important than your dear ones, believe me! Especially when they are trying to reach you when you are busy, the least we can do is hear them out or politely tell them that u will call them back. They just want a kind hearing after all they have been patient with us for so many years when we were growing. This is the least we can do for them.

Also, a visit to their place brings such good cheer to them. You just have to see their beaming faces and it says it all. Even at their age they like to pamper us so much, it some times embarrasses me....do I really deserve this? They are ready to go on a limb to help and support us even at their age. Its truly amazing!

As parents don't most of us yearn for that special time with our kids which tends to make us feel younger and energized with the enthusiasm of the company, its exactly the same case here. So go ahead and make their day!

If you are happy for being who you are and look back on your childhood the same way I do, I m sure you will agree with me wholeheartedly.

If its been some time since you spoke to your folks, pick that phone and say hello or if possible, visit them, they will be pleasantly surprised. And if they stay with you, even better...just give them a big warm hug. You would surely give them a reason to smile. :)

Keep the faith!

Its 5 o clock on a Saturday morning and my eyes are already wide open. I can’t bear to see myself awake so early and hurting with pain on a weekend morning. From one side to another, tossing and turning, I am trying to make myself comfortable but as much as I try hard, the agonizing pain in my right shoulder seems relentless. Its not allowing me to sleep and I am wondering how someone who could wake up only with the sound of hundred trumpets and bugles is now up and awake even before the dawn sets in.
Devoid of sleep and tired of looking at the ceiling which has peeled off in the corner, I shift my gaze to the whirring fan on the ceiling. The sun’s gentle rays which are streaming in through the crack in the window are caressing the blades of the fan and are getting cut in a predictable manner with the motion of the fan. I am engrossed in this visual display for a brief time in which it allows me to escape from the unendurable pain of the moment. And lo, as if in flashback my thoughts take me back to the day almost 3 months ago.
It was a Sunday on 15th November and it was darker than it should be for a 5 am morning. It had rained the previous night which was quite unusual in the year for Mumbai. The sky was overcast from the night before with a few grey clouds still looming as if ominously. Today was the day when my parents were leaving for a 15 day holiday to Australia and I was only there since the previous night to help them do the last minute packing and to drop them off at the airport. It was unusual but I was a little anxious and nervous since the previous night and not just because of the unpredictable rain but as if something was going to happen, something not so good. I do surprise my self with my intuitive powers sometimes and when I look back now to that date of 15th November I was completely right about that anxious feeling.
I didn’t want my parent’s holiday to go kaput especially when they were looking forward to it since so many days. With all my heart, I wanted their holiday to go as planned and be an enjoyable one at that. But then this apprehensive feeling was completely overwhelming me. And then I knew exactly what I had to do. I had just mastered the basics of Reiki healing and it had taught me to use these prayers for healing of self or others or problem solving or for assuaging the fears of uncertain situations. And so I did. I fervently prayed using my Reiki mantras the previous night and went to bed. I prayed that my parent’s holiday be safe and enjoyable. The prayers helped me to reduce the uneasy feeling in my heart and I went to sleep with positive thoughts for company.
However what lay ahead does not surprise me especially when I look back. The flight was at nine in the morning on the day of November 15th and we had to reach the airport at least 2 hours early. So we had accordingly hired a private cab to pick us up at 6.30 am with the airport just half hour drive from my parent’s home. We were running 15 minutes late already and as expected my dad was seething with anger and excited at the same time but rightly so. The women had taken a little longer to get dressed than required. Stepping in the cab his temper continued. After a small argument with me and my mom he agreed to wear his seat belt. The driver was driving slowly as the roads had become slippery from the unseasonable rains and also the fact that the first rains are typically ominous for cars. We were cruising at 60 km per hour and were almost half way through the drive and when the car ahead of us came to a screeching halt out of the blue. Our cab driver luckily managed to stop the car within a hair’s breadth distance. But our sigh of relief was unfortunately short lived and within split seconds we all were violently shaken out of our seats and left shocked from a mighty blow from behind. A giant SUV was unfortunately trailing our cab at a faster speed and as luck would have it the driver could not get the giant machine to come to a grinding stop without banging into our cab from behind. After recovering from this shock the first thought that came to my mind was to check whether my parents were unhurt. Both were reeling under the shock but visibly unhurt. I was relieved to see my mom was not showing any visible signs of impact but was left with a bump on her forehead. My dad thanks to the seat belt was also fine and was now worried about reaching the airport on time rather than the accident and rightfully so. He saw the warring men outside pointing fingers at each other for the mayhem, so he stepped out of the car and did his best to calm the drivers. However when I look back, I wish I could have taken the SUV’s number down so I could sue him for the damage done to my right shoulder. Yes, in all this I had fractured my right shoulder and for the last 3 months have been nursing this slowly healing injury. It didn’t seem that fatal at that time and in fact I didn’t realize the pain till I dropped off my parents at the airport. Once home I suddenly started noticing the excruciating pain emanating from my right arm. So immediately was advised to go to orthopedic to rule out any internal injuries. So with my hubby in tow, I went to the doctor to realize it was a fracture of the right shoulder. This incident has completely changed my life and has forced me to become ambidextrous amongst many things. I have got the best support from my dear hubby and near and dear ones but most importantly made me realize that health is wealth and each of our organs if not in best shape can throw your life out of gear completely. We should be happy with what we have and make the most of what has GOD has given us. The only positive and most important aspect I could take away from this incident was that my parents escaped unhurt and could go on their holiday as planned. Was it because of the Reiki mantras I prayed that fateful night that my parents could enjoy their holidays, I don’t know, may be yes, may be no. But I surely would like to believe so and it as strongly reaffirmed my faith in this alternate healing process. After all faith does move mountains. But for now as I try to move my right hand it surely feels like a big mountain. May be not now but I know I will be able to move it like 3 months back very soon. Keep the faith!