Thursday, July 17, 2025

Aunty Thesis



Aunty Thesis
One fact has become clearer to me after multiple unrestrained conversations with my “far-sighted” ilk. Yes, those with progressing presbyopia. For us Indian women, “Aunty” is that innocuous five-letter word that can “shape-shift” into an offensive four-letter word quite discreetly. Without overtly body shaming, the utterance of this one word - “Aunty”, can deflate the most self-assured and confident Indian woman and instantly make her feel "antique". You can verify this with any woman worth her salt (and pepper), she will agree!
It is no surprise, then, that “Aunty Mat Kaho Na” from a 90s TV serial has remained “timeless” even today. This succinct sentence perfectly expresses the long-endured anguish of every woman in India (whether 20, 30, 40, or 50).
After braving it for multiple decades and being “antsy” about it, yours truly has now embraced it all but unwillingly. Moreover, given my visible grey matter, it is only natural that I have to face it head-on! [pun intended]
But here’s the thing. It is not so much about the word that causes upheavals; it is about who the word originates from.
If I am related to ‘X’ as an aunt…that’s a privilege he/she has earned and ‘X’ can call me “Aunty” till the cows come home. If ‘X’ is from my neighborhood and I know very well that his/her mom is my age or somewhere thereof, I will surely not mind.
However, if X is an adult and I don’t know ‘X’ from Adam, then ‘X’ better not call me “Aunty”. And if they do, this “Aunty” can become “Anti” in every possible way!
So, how should I be addressed, you ask?
Well, they can address me by my name (if known to them) or, better still, ask me how I would like to be addressed.
I sincerely believe that we need to educate the men (and even women), boys, and girls of our country that this seemingly endearing word just cannot be used loosely with all women with "aunty bodies". Instead of trying to be endearing and wanting to create proximity, it can lead to an “antithesis” of that.
However, using the word tacitly could be the most effective anti-aging formula for the women of our country!
In fact, to me, the word itself is so antiquated that it needs to retire from the lexicon of Indians soon.
As I mull over this “aunty matter” and try to find an "anti-fragile" solution to this delicate issue, I am reminded of a dear and elderly lady from my childhood days. She was the most affable, young at heart, and enthusiastic senior, much loved by all in the neighborhood. Despite her age, she was known by her first name among all, whether it was an adult, or even a teen, or a kid. Looks like she had "anticipated" this issue long ago and had found her "antidote". Her solution - Every time she was introduced to a new person, she would ask them to address her by her first name. No tags like Aunty, Aaji, Kaki, or Mausi for her. Even her grandchildren would lovingly call her by her first name. And unsurprisingly, she remained fresh, youthful, and enthusiastic right till her last days.
Those like me who have an antipathy for the word “Aunty” can surely try this aunty-biotic solution. A classic case that seems to have no "antecedence", but somehow seems like a befitting closure for this Aunty Thesis.

Saturday, February 01, 2025

Ummeed Pe Duniya Kayam Hai!

It all started with a FB post by an acquaintance,

about a walkathon for a unique cause, to increase its salience.

Curious to know more, I looked up as I had no reference.

It was an event for which its organizers made a huge variance

in the awareness of the noble cause, I figured out from others' experience.

55 km the target was a huge distance to walk and yet I signed up

with much inner doubt and diffidence.

With three months in hand, I knew I had a fighting chance to improve my resilience.

Whether 55 at age 50 was going to be feasible, remained a constant ambivalence.

90 days flew fast teasingly and the day arrived sooner despite the daily vigilance.

As the clock struck four on D-day, the piercing alarm awakened my senses but put to rest my rising dissonance.

Whether or not I complete the end goal, in that moment, I made an inference,

“It’s about the cause and not you, my friend. Just enjoy the journey.” And that is how I got my deliverance.

Putting my best foot forward, equipped with a newfound belligerence,

my backpack and I packed with carbs and adrenaline for which there was no previous reference.

I knew, however, that whatever happened at the end, the journey had much more significance.

Dawn to dusk was filled with deep conversations and light laughs with strangers that added spring to my steps and confidence,

in those connected moments I realized the beauty of the walk and its true magnificence.

11 hours later, a grueling match between my back and the limbs to decide who was hurting more was wearing off my patience,

but the defiant brain dragged me to the end line...I was exhausted to a degree with no precedence.

As I look back and write fondly about the unique and fulfilling experience;

It’s about coming together as a community to raise awareness for children with developmental disabilities, not about covering the distance!

What the Ummeed Child Development Center Team is consistently doing is of huge consequence.

I am deeply grateful to the inspiring staff and community. I bow to their commitment, gravitas, and providence!


A few pics and videos taken during the walkathon, below:





At 7 pm: The walk finally ends!!!

Keep Walking!

When strangers become companions on walk