Aunty Thesis
One fact has become clearer to me after multiple unrestrained conversations with my “far-sighted” ilk. Yes, those with progressing presbyopia. For us Indian women, “Aunty” is that innocuous five-letter word that can “shape-shift” into an offensive four-letter word quite discreetly. Without overtly body shaming, the utterance of this one word - “Aunty”, can deflate the most self-assured and confident Indian woman and instantly make her feel "antique". You can verify this with any woman worth her salt (and pepper), she will agree!
It is no surprise, then, that “Aunty Mat Kaho Na” from a 90s TV serial has remained “timeless” even today. This succinct sentence perfectly expresses the long-endured anguish of every woman in India (whether 20, 30, 40, or 50).
After braving it for multiple decades and being “antsy” about it, yours truly has now embraced it all but unwillingly. Moreover, given my visible grey matter, it is only natural that I have to face it head-on! [pun intended]
But here’s the thing. It is not so much about the word that causes upheavals; it is about who the word originates from.
If I am related to ‘X’ as an aunt…that’s a privilege he/she has earned and ‘X’ can call me “Aunty” till the cows come home. If ‘X’ is from my neighborhood and I know very well that his/her mom is my age or somewhere thereof, I will surely not mind.
However, if X is an adult and I don’t know ‘X’ from Adam, then ‘X’ better not call me “Aunty”. And if they do, this “Aunty” can become “Anti” in every possible way!
So, how should I be addressed, you ask?
Well, they can address me by my name (if known to them) or, better still, ask me how I would like to be addressed.
I sincerely believe that we need to educate the men (and even women), boys, and girls of our country that this seemingly endearing word just cannot be used loosely with all women with "aunty bodies". Instead of trying to be endearing and wanting to create proximity, it can lead to an “antithesis” of that.
However, using the word tacitly could be the most effective anti-aging formula for the women of our country!
In fact, to me, the word itself is so antiquated that it needs to retire from the lexicon of Indians soon.
As I mull over this “aunty matter” and try to find an "anti-fragile" solution to this delicate issue, I am reminded of a dear and elderly lady from my childhood days. She was the most affable, young at heart, and enthusiastic senior, much loved by all in the neighborhood. Despite her age, she was known by her first name among all, whether it was an adult, or even a teen, or a kid. Looks like she had "anticipated" this issue long ago and had found her "antidote". Her solution - Every time she was introduced to a new person, she would ask them to address her by her first name. No tags like Aunty, Aaji, Kaki, or Mausi for her. Even her grandchildren would lovingly call her by her first name. And unsurprisingly, she remained fresh, youthful, and enthusiastic right till her last days.
Those like me who have an antipathy for the word “Aunty” can surely try this aunty-biotic solution. A classic case that seems to have no "antecedence", but somehow seems like a befitting closure for this Aunty Thesis.
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